Good Morning all,
How has your week been? I truly hope you’re enjoying it and joining us to celebrate the beautiful institution of marriage! Remember to show love and appreciation to your spouse everyday of this week, reverence and romance them! Plan a huge surprise for them, just show them how happy you are to have them! Forget about the argument you had last week, forgive them and move on! It’s the Celebration of Marriage Week, celebrate your spouse! Remember those lonely nights praying for a spouse, God has answered your prayer; so be thankful! Singles, I hope you’ve been praying earnestly and preparing yourselves? Today, I’ll be talking to the married couples about sex; these are excerpts from Mike & Wanda’s articles and I pray it will bless you. [Please note that sex is designed to be enjoyed by husband and wife; not courting or engaged couples, not singles]
The time has come for us as believers to change our distorted image of sex. God created sex, but over the years some Christians have come to view sex as something invented by the world. Well, here’s a news flash for you, Hugh Hefner did not invent sex! God Almighty did, and there’s nothing nasty or dirty about it.
Unfortunately, some Christian women feel that sex is their wifely duty rather than something to be enjoyed by both she and her husband. When you think about it, it’s an insult to God, to look upon something He created and fail to see the beauty in it or cherish it as a gift.
Sex between a husband and his wife is not just physical, it’s emotional, and it’s spiritual. The word of God describes it as a man and a woman becoming one flesh. But unfortunately, some of us have become so “heavenly bound” that we are simply no earthly good. In other words, we are so focused on getting to heaven that we forget we have a life to live here on earth. Not just tolerating life, but living life to the absolute fullest.
After all, your marriage is a reflection of the marriage between Christ and the church. And guess what? Christ is passionate about you! So get passionate about your spouse. If you don’t know how to make this change then pray and ask God to renew your heart and mind in this area. After that, we suggest you educate yourself. Go out and get all the books you can on this subject and read until you become a “sexpert”. Now listen, we’re not suggesting you go out and buy porn, or tasteless books that dishonor God.
There are plenty of Christian books that have been written on this topic, so you should have no problem finding Godly material.
Now, take it one step further by planning a time to sit down with your spouse and read the material together. This little gesture will have sparks flying.
If you have been slacking in this area of your marriage, we encourage you to make immediate changes. Be deliberate about getting the spice back into your sex life. Apologize to your mate for treating this aspect of your marriage as drudgery. Finally, repent to your creator for not appreciating his beautiful gift and ask him to continue renewing you in this area.
Believe us, your new attitude will be a breath of fresh air to your spouse.
Sex and Marriage according to the will of God.
Okay, we’re going to answer all of your questions about oral sex, anal sex, threesomes, and a few others.
But first we feel compelled to give a word of caution to our brothers and sisters who have been searching the internet for information about marriage and sex.
As we began researching the topic of Christian sex and marriage, we were appalled at the amount of misinformation that saturated the internet.
We found sites that condoned threesomes in Christian marriage, and anal sex for single Christians. My friend, these are clearly acts of adultery and fornication.
Our advice is to test all information you find by comparing it to the word of God. If it does not agree with God’s word, then do not receive it as the truth!
We are going to tell you what the Bible says about sex and present it to you in a tasteful manner.
We believe the information we have chosen will allow you to experience sex in a way that honors yourself, your spouse, and God.
Remember, sex in Christian marriage is not for your enjoyment alone, it’s suppose to be enjoyable for both you and your spouse. And like everything else in your life, it should never dishonor God.
So, if you or your spouse feels dirty, disrespected, or degraded after sex then something is drastically wrong in your bedroom.
Does that mean you can only have sex missionary style, while wearing a priestly robe, and holding onto your Bible? I hope not, because if that’s the case, I think we’re all in deep trouble . Ready to get started? Then let’s begin…
Sexual intimacy in marriage is sacred, beautiful, and good. It is the deepest level of intimacy you and your spouse can share.
In fact, making love is such an intense bonding experience that the Bible refers to it as “becoming one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
But no matter how long you’ve been married, you’re likely at some point to experience sexual dissatisfaction. I know we did. We were more tolerant with our sex life than we were satisfied.
What was our problem? Michael’s sex drive was comparable to that of a Lamborghini and mine was more like a Volkswagon Beetle .
In other words, his sex drive was high and my sex drive was low. As you can probably imagine, this was a sore spot between us prior to finding a resolution.
While our past sex issue is common among married couples, there are other reasons why sexual intimacy in marriage can suffer. Those reasons include having unresolved marital problems, not making sex a priority, and simply becoming bored with the same old routine.
If any of these problems occur, you may find yourself stuck in what we call “The Sex After Marriage Rut.” The good news is that this “rut” can inspire you to make things better. The bad news is that if you ignore it, it can become a catalyst for bigger problems. We call those bigger problems covenant killers. The reason we call them covenant killers is because they have the potential to destroy a marriage.
Covenant killers that can manifest when sexual intimacy in marriage is not healthy:
- Emotional Disconnect
- Feelings of Resentment
- Feelings of Rejection
- Infidelity and
The fact is, God ordained sexual intercourse as a way to foster unity in marriage, which means it has the power to create intense emotional and spiritual bonds between you and your spouse. But sex is so intense that it also has the power to cause a complete melt-down of a marital relationship.
How to avoid covenant killers and keep sexual intimacy in marriage healthy…
1. Understand Your Differences
Understand that God created men and women differently where sex is concerned. Your wife is not unusual when compared to other women, and neither is your husband — The two of you are just different.
2. Don’t Be Selfish
Get out of the “It’s all about me” mentality and begin to place the needs of your spouse above your own.
3. Forgive Past Sins
Resolve any lingering issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with properly.
Certainly, that’s not all there is to it, but it is a good place to start. By doing these three things, you will experience a true surrendering to Christ which will lead you to that mysterious, but beautiful place of “Becoming one flesh” in Christian lovemaking.
How to Spice Up Sex in Christian Marriage
How to spice up sex in Christian marriage with three easy suggestions. Some couples slip into a “rut” because they have no idea what to do. Others are confused about what’s permissible in the Christian bedroom.
But it’s not that complicated. In fact, these quick tips are proof that spicing up your sex life is not complicated at all.
What it all boils down to is simply breaking your normal routine. You know those things you do everytime the two of you make love? Take a risk and do something different.
3 Tips for How to Spice up Sex:
1. Change the Location
If making love in the bedroom is your normal routine, then try making love in a different room. For instance, try making love on the kitchen floor or in the dining room. The change of scenery will stimulate your senses and add a fresh excitment to the air.
2. Change the Time
Many couples are in the habit of making love at night before going to bed. But is there a law against having sex in the morning or mid afternoon? Here’s an idea; plan a mid week lunch date with your spouse and make love before returning back to work.
3. Accessorize Your Lovemaking
Ladies, you accessorize everything else! Why not add a few accessories to your lovemaking? Try incorporating lotions, oils, sexy lingerie to heat things up a little.
There are hundreds of other things you can try. But start with these small ideas first to see how your spouse responds. If he or she responds favorably, then continue researching how to have great sex and gradually incorporate what you learn into your lovemaking.
Sex in the Bible. A candid conversation about what is and is not permissable in the Christian bedroom.
Like many Christian couples, Michael and I were clueless when it came to knowing what was and was not okay in our bedroom.
For us, it was a matter of praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. For you, we have made it easier.
This page is divided into three parts;
In Part 1, we give you a list of sexual acts that the Bible speaks against.
In Part 2, you’ll learn seven easy principles for determining whether a sexual act is wrong or not.
And in Part 3, we put these seven principles into action by giving you two practical examples.
Scriptures on sex in the Bible
Adultery: This is sex with someone other than your spouse. In Biblical times, adultery was punishable by stoning. In the New Testament Jesus gives adultery a whole new definition by saying that a married man who lusts in his heart for another woman is in fact guilty of adultery. See Matthew 5:28.
Fornication: The word comes from the Greek word porneia and means “unclean”. This is when you engage in sex outside of the covenant of marriage. However, in the Bible, this word has been used when referring to adultery, sex with a prostitute, and sex with your stepmother. See 1 Corinthians 5:1, 6:13,15-16, 7:2; Matthew 5:32; and 1 Thessalonians 4:3.
Homosexuality: The Word of God says that it is detestable for a man to have sex with another man and a woman to have sex with another woman. See Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.
Incest: Sex with a relative or family member. See Leviticus 18:7-18; 20:11-21.
Lustful Passions: This refers to out of control lust for a person other than your marriage partner. Also, remember that this now equates to adultery according to Jesus. See Mark 7:21-22; Ephesians 4:19; and Matthew 5:28.
Prostitution: Paying for sex. See Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, and Proverbs 7:4-27.
Beastialty: Sex with an animal. See Leviticus 18:23
Rape: Forced sex without consent. See Deuteronomy 22:25,28
That’s it, but does that mean everything else is permissible? No, it doesn’t. So, how do you know for sure what is permissible in the Christian bedroom? Simply match it up with the Word of God and see how it compares.
sex in the bible
7 Biblical principles you can use as a guide:
The next time you have a question about a particular sex act, just use these seven principles to help you make a Godly decision.
- Sex should only be between a husband and his wife. Matthew 19:4-5
- Sex should always be God honoring and never bring harm, pain, or shame to your spouse. Ephesians 5:29
- You should not look at others with lust. Matthew 5:28
- You should not persuade your spouse to do something that she or he believes is sinful. Romans 14:1,14
- You should never imitate the sinful world. Romans 12:2
- You should never withhold sex from your spouse unless it is by mutual consent.
1 Corinthians 7:5
- You should not be addicted to or controlled by anything other than the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 10:12, 10:23
2 Practical Examples
1. Anal Sex and the Bible – Are there any Scriptures that speak against it? No. Does it violate any of the seven principles? Yes — principle number two. Anal sex can cause pain, scarring, and feelings of shame. With that being said, we don’t believe anal sex is God honoring in the Christian bedroom.
2. Oral Sex in the Bible – Are there Scriptures that prohibit oral sex? No. There are actually Scriptures that describe oral sex between Solomon and his wife. However, if your spouse is not in agreement with this, you should not force the issue. This would violate principle number four.
8 Myths about Sex
Are your ready to get rid of all those sex myths you’ve been holding onto?
Good, then take a look at the following list. If any of these untruths have been creeping into your bedroom why not make a comittment today to change your thinking.
Sex Myth #1 My spouse should know how to please me sexually. This is false. But many of us behave as if it’s true. We make love to our spouses day after day, and month after month without ever sharing what we like and dislike. For some odd reason we believe our mates have the ability to read our minds.
Sorry to disappoint you beloved but as wonderful as he or she is, the fact is your spouse is not omnicient. If you don’t tell them what feels good or bad to you sexually, then they will never know. And you will constantly be frustrated.
Sex Myth #2 The husband should always be the aggressor of sex. This is false. Woman have been taught that when it comes to sex, they should be domisile. But believe it or not, a husband needs to feel desired by his wife. If you as the wife don’t show your husband that he’s desirable, it will without a doubt affect his ego. When this happens, it’s only a matter of time before the enemy uses this to cause division.
Sex Myth #3 Sex is not important in Christian marriage. This is not true. Physical intimacy is a vital part of the marriage covenant for believers and non-believers. While it’s not the most important part of your relationship, it does require your time and attention.
Sex Myth #4 Christians should not experiment in the bedroom. This is definitely a big fat myth! How else are you going to keep things from getting hum drum? In order to keep it exciting, you absolutely must try different things from time to time. But this should be done tastefully in a way that does not dishonor your spouse or God.
Sex Myth #5 Married couples should have sex several times a week. Every marriage is different, therefore you can’t make such a general statement. In other words, there’s no rule book dictating how often you’re suppose to have sex. It’s important that the two of you learn and establish your own sexual rythm; don’t compare yourself to other couples.
Sex Myth #6 The husband is the boss in the bedroom, and so the wife must submit to whatever he wants to do. Okay, while it is true that the wife is subject to her husband, the Bible also says that they are to submit one to the other. It also says that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church which should mean that the husband is not going to force his wife to do anything she does not want to do.
Sex Myth #7 Good Christian women aren’t suppose to enjoy sex Well if that’s true, that’s a huge blow to all the good Christian men. We believe good Christian women know that sex is a beautiful gift from God. Not enjoying it or calling it dirty is an insult to your creator.
Sex Myth #8 Men are always in the mood for sex. Believe it or not ladies, this is not true. Television and the movies portray men as being hot and ready for sex all the time. But don’t believe it. Sometimes it’s the husband who has the headache! While men usually have higher sex drives then women in general, this is not true of all men.
Tips for wives
All right woman of God, it’s time you turned up the heat. Not in the kitchen, in your bedroom. Yes, I know you work a full-time job, you cook, you clean, and you take care of the children. But the back burner is no place for your love life sweetie. You see, romance is an essential part of your relationship. In fact, where your husband is concerned, it makes him feel loved.
But if you’ve been a little lax in this area, no worries. Make a decision today to “turn up the heat”.
Here are ten simple Christian romance tips you can implement right away:
- Join Him in the shower when he least expects it.
- Give him a full body massage.
- Be the aggressor in the bedroom for a full week.
- Never come to bed looking like his grandmother.
- Before he goes to work, hide love notes in his pockets.
- While he’s at work send him passionate text messages through out the day.
- Leave a steamy voice message for him on the answering machine.
- Make love to him in a room other than the bedroom.
- Turn your bathroom into a homemade spa for two.
- Leave a trail of rose petals from the front door to the bedroom where he finds you at the end.
If you don’t typically initiate romance in your marriage, this may feel a little strange initially. But I promise you’ll notice immediate changes in your relationship once you get started. It just takes a little effort.
That’s it, ladies and gentlemen! I’m sure you didn’t want it to end! I hope you enjoyed reading that and it will bless your marriage! Remember, these are great tips and principles to practise with your spouse not your finance or friend! Don’t stop loving or appreciating your spouse! God bless you all.