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Children

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen,

Hope you’re well and have had a great day at work, ministry, home, school? It is well! I started thinking of what to write for this post about a month ago and things have since progressed and by God’s Grace, I have two testimonies to include in this post. You may remember me writing about Rev Funke Adejumo’s sermon about excelling as a mother; this was directed towards parents in general.

My 12 year old nephew lives with my parents in Lagos! They currently take care of him and have done so for the past eight years! So, I decided to share the message with my mother and I also put the things she mentioned in practice. My nephew and I are very close and he speaks to me about very personal things and so I am in a good position to implement these things.

1- The first thing we did was to be positive and always encouraging! His report came back in July and he got 2As, a few Cs, Ps and Fs! We were quite disappointed but I told my mother that we should thank God for those 2As and praise the kid for even attaining that.

2- To however prevent him for becoming lazy and comfortable! I kept on congratulating him on the 2As but I always said “I am so happy and proud that you got these 2As but I’m shocked you didn’t get all As because you are so smart and you are the smartest boy in your class. I’m sure you will get all As next time”. I always reaffirmed the fact that he was the best, the smartest and the head and then I would say, don’t you know and he would say “yes I know i am”

Proverbs 23:7- For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he

By getting him to repeat and believe this, he is in turn becoming that smart person. By saying those positive words constantly, we are transforming his mind and speaking prophetically. Amen.

3- I noticed that he had received a Blackberry phone as his 12th birthday present and so I asked how many contacts he had and he showed me and to my amazement, there were about 70 of them. I had to go through them to ensure they were friends, only to discover he had added a series of people he didn’t know from broadcasts. At this time, the Cynthia Osokogu murder story was everywhere and I actually spoke to him about it and educated him about the dangers of social networks, blackberry messenger and interacting with strangers. He then understood what I meant and on his own, he deleted every single person he didn’t know.

4- I knew I had to speak to him about sex because if you don’t speak to them about it, believe me the TV will teach them! Think about when you were twelve and all that you knew! I asked him what he knew and he pretty much knew everything. I explained to him that as he gets older, there may be pressure to get into relationships and have sex but he is a child of the most High God and we should not conform to the standards of the world but he should rather save himself for marriage! We spoke about the sanctity of marriage and he even had the understanding that he wanted a Christian wife with high morals and standards and so I said if he expected that from his wife, he should do the same! I explained that sometimes he may feel a certain way to which he responded “Yes from my hormones”. I told him it was normal and came with puberty but he needed to ask the Holy Spirit to come and take control. Amen.

5- I had to speak to him about the value of women and how to treat them! I explained that when he was old enough to enter into a relationship, he had to pray to God about it first and go ahead only after confirmation from God! As a child, he has witnessed his own mother and several aunties being subjected to so much pain from bad relationships and he did agree that he would never want to put any woman through such pain. I explained that under no circumstance should he put hands on a woman or verbally insult her, neither should he attempt any sexual relations until they were married! I explained the value of women and their role as help meets.

6- I asked him about his strengths ad weaknesses and advised him on how to deal with the so-called weaknesses! I explained that he could be great at every and anything! Regarding his strengths, I banked on them and continually encouraged him! He’s good at maths, he said he would like to become an investment banker! I told him he would be one! He’s quite a tall lad standing at about 5″10 at only 12 years old and so he took an interest in basketball and so we decided that it was imperative for him to spend time playing basketball and so my sister’s fiancé, took him to a basketball court to train and we’re told he was really good. We’ve decided that he will spend his summers at basketball training from now; as long as that is still his passion. His talent and drive needs to be nurtured and harnessed!

7- In the past, he’s had several behavioural issues and used to be really “bad” in school but we tried never to focus on that. Even when he did misbehave, we never called him names! Instead when he was naughty, we would say “But you are such a good, mature child of God, why would you act like that?”. We focused on positively encouraging him and never using bad words on him; because children will remember the words and start to act accordingly.

8- Lastly, I spoke to him about the importance of a relationship with Christ and constant prayer! I encouraged him to indulge in morning devotionals daily, read his Bible, praise and worship and to always seek God! During the time we were together, we prayed together. I encouraged him to pray and I also prayed for him and prophesied greatness into his life! Even after returning to England, I called him on the phone, always praying for him and declaring he was a child of God who would serve God all his life, I declared he would be a well known NBA Player and investment banker! I never once insulted him even in his “naughty” moments but always sowed prayers into his life.

God answered

To the glory of God, mother called me last week to inform me that our darling smart boy had achieved SEVEN distinctions in his results, seven credits, one pass and no fails! Wow! This was a vast improvement; even the teachers were shocked! It was all to the glory of God and guess what? Poor nephew was stricken with chicken pox and was admitted into hospital and missed many days of school and continuous assessments. Supposing he hadn’t missed these, what would he have scored then? For many years, nephew got low grades, last in class and then became an average student, we tried every approach but couldn’t get him to improve! We bribed him with phones, laptops but no change but to the glory of God, after using Biblical principles and the advice by Rev Funke Adejumo, he is now an outstanding student and I know I will be back to testify about his next set of results because the good work that God has started in Him, He will surely see through to its completion in Jesus’ Name! Amen!

Testimony

I would like to share the testimony of my first cousin! My cousin had her first child twenty years ago; it was a lovely beautiful girl but a second child was not forth coming at all! It just didn’t happen and we all got used to her being the only child and assumed she couldn’t have another! Well, God is an awesome God because after ten years my cousin found out she was pregnant and she had a beautiful baby boy who is nine years old today but the Lord didn’t stop there, two and a half years later, she had another boy who is 6 today! The two boys are extremely cute together and are the best of friends! But you know God is so marvellous, she had another baby in 2009; a cute princess who is 3years old and in August this year, she was blessed with another Princess! Now, my cousin and her husband are the proud parents of FIVE healthy, amazing and beautiful children (20, 9, 6, 3, 2months old)! Their first daughter is currently at Uni studying Computer Science while their four other kids are really giving them an event filled life! I am so happy for them and grateful to God for His mercies! Only God can open a door others think is closed; He is the one who opens a womb others have deemed shut!

May the Lord open every closed door in your life today and may He spring forth into action in every area of your life that has been deemed a failure! It is well with you and all that concerns you in Jesus’ Name! Amen! To watch the sermon by Rev Funke Adejumo (Excelling as a mother, April 22 2012)- www.lifestream.tv/daystar

Every parent should watch it, every aunty, uncle, cousin, teacher, youth worker! In fact I believe every single person should watch it because we shall all be parents one day and we need to start practising these principles on our nephews, nieces, neighbours and so on.

You can read the summary I wrote here- www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/excelling-as-a-parent

God bless you all

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Filed under Communing with Christ, Marriage/Courtship, Parenting, Prayer, Testimonies

Raising Godly seed….Getting your kids through Church without them ending up hating God!

Hello again,

I’m coming up to a very busy weekend and would like to bless you with as many posts as possible, to occupy you when I’m busy. I am aware that a lot of our readers are parents and many are looking for the fruit of the womb! Even those of you that are still single, will end up parents one day. AMEN!

With the modernisation of almost everything, these days things are changing! Christianity is becoming difficult. We see it everywhere! Declining numbers in Church attendance, an increase in the divorce rate and an alarming number of children turning to crime and becoming miscreants! I know that one of the most painful things is raising a child only to watch that child become useless. God forbid!

There are many important issues to take into consideration but above all things, raise your child with love, care, diligence and in accordance with the word.

The responsibility of raising a Godly child lies within the parent and just like many other things in life, to see a good outcome, you as the parents must set an example for the Child; you have to be a great role model. As a psychologist, I will tell you that most children mirror the behaviour of one/both parents;whether good or bad.

Malachi 2:15-  Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

Pray with/for your children everyday! Never underestimate the power of prayer! Children like routine, just with their sleep, food and school, make sure there is a routine for prayer. As soon as they can speak, also get them involved in prayer. Let them know it’s something to be done always. When they are ill, pray for them and tell them why! When about to eat, pray together. When you are ill, even get them to pray for you. They’ll love it!

Proverbs 18:21: The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

Teach them to be careful with their words! You also be careful! The tongue is powerful! Declare great things on them, regardless of the situation or performance! Even if your child comes last in class, tell him/her that you are surprised he didn’t come first because he/she is very intelligent. But, they need to work harder to come first next time. These are things you start from day 1; not when they are 10 or 19. Never insult your child; the words always stick; especially coming from a parent! I still remember the first time I was called an idiot, because it stung! I was only about 7 at the time but I remember very clearly!

When I was growing up,it seemed as if the Bible was an ornament of decoration. I didn’t know a single child who read theirs. Get them involved in Bible reading as soon as they can read, but start reading to them before that. Read the nice Bible stories and parables to them but even teach them memory verses and important principles in the Bible!

Find a good Church that has a good Sunday School! There are many lovely ones whilst others don’t do much teaching. Sit in and observe until you are happy, comfortable and find the right one! When taking your child, get them excited. Talk about God in such a glorious manner! Tell them they are going to God’s house and how He is the biggest King in the world, they should be excited! Let them be excited about Sunday School and always ask what they learned and get them to narrate the stories back to you and ask for the moral of the story.

A lot of our behaviour and thinking is as a result of the media we were exposed to whilst young. While your child should have a normal life, ensure they have a lot of Christian books, movies, tv shows and games! Many girls grow up as dependent women with low self-esteem because of the fairytales they watched as children, whilst a lot of men grow up to be violent and negligent because of what they watched on TV.

Teach your children to praise God! Be clear that everything they have is from God, from their pocket money to food to your house. Teach them to thank God for everything! Help them not to focus on material things but on more important things! Provide for them, work hard for them and teach them to be satisfied with what they have because that is what God gave them, they should never delve into self-comparison, envy or peer pressure! You need to teach them about this and pray with them on it.

Teach them the 10 commandments and basic morals and get more detailed with them as they grow older! Teach them about forgiveness and the importance of never keeping malice.

No matter your profession or commitment in ministry, charity begins at home! Many Church leaders and career men/women get so involved in their ministry or work that they neglect raising their children! Don’t compromise the time you spend with them, nurture them, advise them, teach them, do their homework with them and play with them. Let them feel comfortable speaking to you. As they grow older, educate them on issues such as abstinence from sex, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Teach them about the Lord’s temple; their body! Let them know how precious and valuable it is; so never to get into any illicit forms of sex or substance abuse and teach them about physical and sexual abuse. You would be surprised to know how many children are abused even under the roof of their parents. You need to teach them this and explain that they must always be honest with you if such a thing happens.

Teach them the importance of parents, Pastors and Police. The importance of a family unit and why they must serve God and decide to do it even after they have left your care!

You may be Catholic, Pentecostal or Orthodox but never bash other Christian denominations to them because many parents lose their children from Church and the day your child returns, you will pray for them to go to Church, any Church! So, let them have an open mind.

Teach your children about respect and obedience to their parents, elders and community at large! Raise them to be respectful, God fearing children. When you give them money or when they get money as gifts, from as little as toddlers, teach them about offerings and tithes! Don’t teach them as a sacrifice but as an act of worship and they should be happy and excited to do this. As they grow older, teach them the percentage calculation for calculating/paying their tithes and they will continue. AMEN.

As soon as you have children, please write a will if you haven’t already! No matter how young you are. Unfortunately, sad things happen all the time and you need to make sure that your children are taken care of.

Many of us hire nannies, house helps and so on. Many a time, these people treat our children with neglect, many of them have been known to abuse children. Be careful of who you hire, ensure you screen them and even get an overview of their background. Ask God for direction when entrusting your child with such people, if possible only hire genuinely born again staff members and always pray for them. As much as possible, spend a lot of time with your children, even if you have staff assisting, try to be present for the most part.

While your child grows up, difficult things may occur; such as sickness, loss of a pet, death of a family member. Deal with these things and be open and confident about it! Teach them about God and life after death in Heaven. So, they grow up knowing that these things occur but God is always looking after us! If you teach a chid about God right from birth and always ensure God is the genuine centre and head of your family, you can’t go wrong! Your child won’t be able to live without God! Also make them aware of the less privileged people, the poor, orphans, widows and disabled people. Show them they are blessed because they aren’t in that position and teach them to share their belongings with the needy right from a young age and it won’t depart from them.

Children are human beings after all and they may make some mistakes and get up to mischief! Always correct your child firmly! They will learn that way. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24- “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes”. In other words, give your child a good discipline when they have done wrong. You don’t need to go overboard but be firm and consistent always. They must learn to pay the price for their mischief.

Many parents however get it wrong by teaching their child about God but acting very contrary! Don’t swear, curse or insult in front of your child or ever! Many parents even get their children to lie for them “tell the neighbours i’m not home”, whilst many women take money without their husband’s permission and laugh it off with their child. NEVER EVER commit sin in front of your child; you will be teaching them to do that! Be a great example to your child and watch God bless you. Your Christianity will surely be contagious!

Remember, love, care, pray and embrace your child always.

Proverbs 22:6- Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 God bless

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