Category Archives: Finding “Mr. Right”

Marriage Testimony

Praise the Lord! Praise the Living Jesus! Praise the Most High God! Today has just been an amazing day, I’ve just been crying; tears of joy! From one testimony to another! I received an email today from a wonderful lady who wants to share the testimony of her marriage with us! Her story just made me cry and celebrate God! I just thank God that He is still in the business of performing miracles and He genuinely listens to us, hears us and shows up on time! I also bless God for this wonderful woman, a woman of virtue! I thank her for sharing such intimate details with us and for inspiring me! Please read her story below , I know so many of you have asked for more real life testimonies of married couples- well, the Lord has answered our prayers! Enjoy! 

I’m testifying to Gods glory so other single sisters can trust God, I and my husband dated for 5 years in a healthy great relationship but marriage proposal wasn’t coming forth so I decided to seek God more, even though I ‘d known God from my background.

I’m from a God fearing background so my foundation was very strong. I also went to Covenant Singles and married ministries for their seminars and personal counseling and  I visited Pastor

Kingsley Okonkwo’s church too – Love Dating & Marriage Ministries once or twice for more knowledge too, bought C.Ds to help me get more knowledge on how to prepare for marriage.


Then later another year I was invited to daughters destiny interdenominational women’s prayer fellowship in Ajah Lagos. In fact they sharpened my prayer life. Cos  there the prayers were very hot and timely. They pray for singles and somedays when she is lead the set woman, Pastor Busola Jegede she will call single ladies out and start to declare what God told her, the entire congregation will start praying for all of us. Heaven opened on our behalf. The prayers were too many from all corners, my family, my mans family, my church weekly prayer meetings and sundays. I tapped into any message that my Pastor Preaches Pastor Paul Adefrasin and his wife Pastor Ifeanyi.


I was consistent at the daughters of destiny fellowship since I was an entrepreneur and had time to attend fellowships on Mondays 8 am – 12pm.


From Singles & Married Ministries Pastor Chris Ojigbani- I got insight to forgiveness, I was no longer interested in just asking God for a man but living for Christ, I started ministering to other ladies, all though one of my gifts were counseling so I started giving out free books to friends to read about marriage & spiritual warfare- in this book we were taught to focus on building all our amour so we can stand the wiles of the enemy Ephesians 6 vs 10. Also I had a common verse that I confess daily isaiah 34 vs 16- none shall lack their mate from generations to generations.


When all this was going on my man was busy traveling out for work, on one of his trips he said he got led to buy a ring. On that trip he had given most of his cash to me before traveling to help him pay certain bills for him on his absence, so I knew exactly how much he had on with him. What I didn’t know that God will push him so much that he will lend money from his colleague to deposit for a diamond ring then on his way back to that same country he decided to purchase it fully. While all this was going on I was busy praying, preaching on Facebook, and anywhere I go, serving God, attending weekend meetings where we were taught about marriage. I was learning all I can learn to prepare me mentally and spiritually, though I sensed it in my spirit that my set time for marriage was close. I had so much faith. Praiseeeeee God he proposed after listening to a message by Pastor Paul Adefarasin about building a daily altar. From that day we started praying at night on the phone, together, in the car, house any where we could pray. We joined the church one month fasting and prayers.


Wedding plans my advice- I wasn’t exposed to so many people. I had a strong genuine christian prayer team and support from my parents, siblings. If possible people should avoid ashebi, bridal shower. Focus on your day and honeymoon, don’t invite the whole world, have a prayer life with your spouse. Get a non family member to plan your day or be in charge of coordination for that day. It’s cheaper to get a 2 weeks coordinator into the wedding. Though I used a full planner.  Dont use friends, let them enjoy that day.


Don’t involve friends except you have sincere happy ones. Be good hearted, male friends outside your relationship should be distance though some are good but no man wants you to have a best friend outside the marriage. So make your intended spouse your best friend before marriage. Be open and sincere. Be real, no boasting or being fake about your background or yourself. No one is a fool.

don’t be canal it’s not a show off affair, be God conscious so he can bless your day and your marriage, don’t let negative experiences from other peoples marriage affect your mind set. Anything negative chat should not be entertained  from any source even from parents. Some only know bad marriages and all they discuss is bad marriage stories to sow seeds of fear. Avoid unnecessary traditional dancers that wont glorify God. Be happy don’t worry on that day. Smile always. Above all Marry a man with a good heart, a willing God fearing man that fears God. Don’t marry under pressure, it’s a lifetime. Gods time is the best.



Everyday I am happy I waited, there were other suitors, I prayed but didn’t get that peace of mind, so I waited for my dream man. My wedding is still a testimony. Every guest who attended said its still the best wedding they’ve attended yet, coordination, peace, no chaos, good service, powerful preaching from the man of God. Many said they felt Gods presence, another said God was there himself. All these was what I  asked God in secret during my daily prayers.  My marriage is living testimony today. God paid all our wedding bills. We had no debt after the wedding and we didn’t lend. I had my dream man & wedding, too good to be true but with God all things are possible. Who ever thought I will be this honored after 5 years of waiting. My husband treats me like he just met me everyday. I am new to him, if you get me.  Now I didn’t leave my man cos it was a healthy relationship. I don’t advise any lady to stay in a bad relationship with someone who is not loving to them and they must seek God before they decide to wait.

We even gave some of our wedding vendors bonuses. Now that’s Gods work.  It took place in Lagos, traditional wedding, court and white wedding.  In my family from my both parents families no one has done the three weddings. It’s either traditional only and they are married or only court so God broke protocols for me. He will do same for all his daughters. Amen.


I didn’t go to the village. I Hired different venues for the two occasions. God showed up. Please don’t pray only about getting a man, preach, sow seeds, charity, widows, have a good heart, loose weight, improve your talents, write exams that will open good doors for your career, not everything is spiritual sometimes our attitude, body language, dress sense, bad friends, not willing to be corrected and lack of respect for others, evil speaking about other peoples blessings or being materialistic can make one miss their appointed time.

After marriage prayers every night and reading the word with praises, learn how to cook both  local and intercontinental dishes, be healthy, cook healthy meals, sowing seeds to ministries you love, local and international, less friends, privacy, no relative from both sides should live with you, study yourselves before letting the world in.

And singles in relationships  should have a plan for the kingdom that way God has something to build on. It’s been a joyful experience so far.  There were health challenges on me but God has been faithful to heal me. We are at rest trusting him daily to give us victory in every area of our lives, according to his word. Recently we got a free  S.U.V after sowing a seed. The testimonies have been enormous.



I give God our Lord Jesus Christ all the glory, honor, thanksgiving. He is so faithful, please trust him but also seek his kingdom. Have a good  heart for others, don’t envy other People. Wish others well, so your joy will be full. He  will do it for everyone that trust & obey him, by his grace. I realize that those years I wasn’t spiritually and mentally ready so, God was more interested in my character cos the blessings were already waiting for me, He also loves to bless us more. And above all! it’s not by my works but all his grace that it was possible. Grace is me depending on his unmerited favour. Grace makes you want to please God. Please depend only on our Lord Jesus. He will never, ever fail you. Amen. Isaiah 60 is our portion. God bless you Princess of Zion. I share to Gods glory. ( please pardon any typo errors I am very tired now) Lol.

Did somebody just receive that rhema? Can I hear somebody praise the Lord! Oh, the Lord is great! Did we read what she did? She became an active servant of God! She spent her time loving the Lord and serving Him! She didn’t resort to carnal or fetish remedies but left it to God! She didn’t sit at home and mope but she went out and spread the gospel. She spent her waiting period preparing, attending seminars, reading books, praying, going for prayer meetings. She was and is active in the Kingdom of God; she also spread the messages!

Please can somebody lift up this wonderful woman before God and commit her and her marriage into God’s hands. Let’s declare over her that the Lord will continue to bless her and her family, let’s decree that love, joy, unity, peace and grace shall always reign in their home! Father, we bless you for such an inspirational woman; a true princess of Zion. Father, as she was faithful even during her single period, we pray You will continue to reward her and favour her marriage! Father, strengthen the bond in her marriage and be with her and her husband! Lord I pray that their marriage will continue to grow from strength from strength, glory to glory and will inspire thousands of people the world over! We pray Lord that You will bless and prosper them spiritually, physically, financially and materially! Lord, as she has been faithful to testify and share her story with us, perfect all that concerns her and her marriage; may her marriage never end in tears or divorce but may it last till eternity!

Thank You Jesus for such a wonderful miracle, I declare over myself and all the readers of this testimony that as You have done for this couple, You shall do for us too! Father, in this season, You shall change our marital status and our marriages shall all be huge testimonies that will tell of Your glory and greatness! Thank You Jesus!

Ladies and gentlemen, words are unnecessary after such a glorious testimony; let’s simply key into this testimony, love and serve the Lord with all our hearts and be active in the Kingdom! The Lord will surely ensure that NONE of us shall lack a mate! Amen! If this testimony has encouraged you, please don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with someone or ten or fifty or a thousand! Let’s get the message out there! If you have also experienced the joy of the Lord in your marriage, please share your testimony with us, so it can inspire others to wait on God, wait for God’s best and stay faithful. Please send all testimonies to me God bless you all. 



Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Keeping my marriage alive, Marriage/Courtship, Singles, Testimonies, Waiting on my future spouse

Marry well

Good Afternoon beautiful people,

How is your Wednesday going? On with today’s message…If you are not Nigerian, then your probably did not understand the title of this post. Well, “marry well” simply means marry right! Make the right choice; in fact the rightest choice! This is a phrase I hear mostly from Pastor Kingsley & Mildred Okonkwo; so it’s no surprise that today’s post is about them.

Last year June, I was moving out of my previous home in the Midlands. I packed up all my belongings into my car and headed for the motorway. However, before I left, I decided to make one last stop at my friend’s house. I’d known her for about six years and she’s an extremely inspirational christian till this day so I decided to stop by and just thank her for everything. Whilst there, she said she had to put some messages on my iPod quickly and I told her I was rushing off but she persevered and was able to complete the transfer. So, I thanked her, we hugged and I left. I completely forgot about the messages, especially as I don’t use the iPod except as a USB. However, about six weeks later at my home in London, I remembered the messages my dear friend had put on my iPod and I decided to listen to them. Wow! I got the shock of my life!

The Pastor was extremely real, wise, funny, amazing and just anointed! I cried, I laughed, I bowed to God and I just felt a release! For the next two days, I locked myself indoors and just listened to all the messages, back to back from morning to night! I couldn’t get enough! Within two days, I had listened to them (all twenty hours worth of sermons). It was like receiving a rhema! I just had this new lease on life, this new spring in my step and a renewed mind! It was during those two days that the vision of “Princess of Zion” was birthed! The sermons I listened to were by Pastor Kingsley & Mildred Okonkwo! I was intrigued, humbled, amazed! I had never heard anything like this. Who were these people? So I went on the internet and did some research! I discovered that they were a successful, anointed married couple pastoring a Church and their specific passion was family and marriage. I looked at their website, I listened to all the messages on the website. I also discovered they held a monthly programme called “Love, Dating & Marriage” aka LDM, I went to that website, listened to all the messages, I found their page on Facebook, listened to all the messages, I couldn’t stop! I later discovered their services were broadcast live, so I switched my Church routine to evening service and stayed home in the mornings to watch their two morning services! I was just blessed! I was fed! It was just amazing! I couldn’t keep shut; I wanted everyone I knew to hear these things, I sent the messages across to my friends, family, I sent them to different people across the country! I think that just fuelled my passion; I just wanted everyone in the world to hear about God’s love and what we mean to Him and why we should keep ourselves holy and be very prayerful and careful in the search for a spouse! After I had sent the sermons to every possible person, that’s when I knew I wanted to go into tho ministry so I could spread this new knowledge and resources to other people. I mean, why should these benefits be limited to just my friends? What about the rest of the world?

As time went on, my own passion grew more and I started to attend other seminars, buy books, CDs, it was just an amazing experience. One day, I was led to just reach out to Pastor K&M via their Facebook Fan Page, I just told them what they’ve done and how they’ve positively impacted my life and when they do come to London, I would love to meet them. I had no clue what their schedule was or when they would next be in London, it could be a year or six months or three days, I didn’t know but I just wanted to meet them whenever that time came. As God would have it, I got a response the following day saying they were in London at the time and I should contact them via phone. We text back and forth and arranged to meet. I met with both of them at their Hotel; it was a brief meeting but it was just finally good to meet them and they were so humble, vibrant and lovely. This was in April this year and I’ve since kept in contact with them and whenever I have issues, queries, I just reach them and they’re so quick to respond and give me counsel. They’re extremely patient, loving and caring! I couldn’t ask for better mentors! As a couple, they are extremely sweet, perfectly suited and vibrant! As you know when I went to Lagos, I finally attended their Church and it was absolutely phenomenal!

The day after I returned from Lagos, Pastor K sent me a message about Pastor Mildred’s birthday! He said he had planned a surprise trip for her. They’re based in Lagos but he had  bought tickets for them to fly to America so she could attend the Joyce Meyer Love Life Convention in ST Louis. Pastor M had no clue. I just thought- Wow! Anyway, let me just tell you what happened. On Monday the 19th of September, a week before her birthday, he told Pastor M that they had to pick someone up from the airport in Lagos. So, they both went to the MMA in Nigeria and the next thing, they were on an upper class flight to London. She was absolutely stunned; he gave her no prior notice at all and he did all the packing and snuck the suitcases into the car. When they arrived in London, myself and four other ladies (members of DCC) were waiting for them with a 5 foot long banner that read “Still crazy about Mildred Okonkwo” we had balloons there, a lovely bouquet of flowers and a cake! You should have seen her face; she immediately froze and started nudging her husband! There was a huge crowd in Heathrow, all watching this romantic scene; like it was a movie! She was extremely shocked, happy and in awe of how all this was planned without her knowing. We escorted them to the Sheraton Hotel where they stayed for the night before catching their transit flight to Chicago the next day. We got to the Hotel, prayed, ordered some lovely chinese food, cut the cake, ate, drank and just had a great time! We gave her some cards and just had a party! After sometime, we left and in the morning, they were on their way to America where she had even more surprises waiting for her! This was all for her birthday!

Pastor K kept thanking us for helping him organise the London leg of the surprise but I was more thankful for being part of such a beautiful thing and witnessing first hand what a Godly marriage is about! Ladies, that is why i say “marry well”. This sounds like something straight out of a movie but it is real and I haven’t even narrated everything! It was absolutely romantic, selfless and wonderful of him to do that and it shows how much love he has for her and how much effort he puts into loving his wife and making their marriage sweet. The icing on the cake is that, for many years, Pastor Mildred had been decreeing that one day, she would be at a Joyce Meyer conference; in actual fact, days before this surprise, she even said it and Pastor K just responded by saying “AMEN” not knowing he had already secured her place at one! I mean, God is just great! They went upper class, great service, 5 star hotels and had a luxury filled holiday but remember that when they got married, it wasn’t like this!

Pastor K makes it clear that when he married her he had no income, he wasn’t rich materially but he was rich in faith! At the time, she was well educated and had a Master’s degree while he only had an OND! Yet, these things did not deter or stop her from seeing the Godly man he was and today, she is enjoying her marriage and is experiencing true marital bliss. Ladies and gentlemen, “marry well”! Don’t marry for money, security or for the person’s looks or body, marry right and ask God to lead you. So, you too can experience joy and eternal bliss in your marriage. Mind you, Pastor M makes it clear that it hasn’t been a walk in the park; there’s been financial issues, infertility amongst other things but God has seen them through it all and everyday it’s worth it! May that be your testimony in Jesus’ Name!

To an absolutely beautiful, wonderful, lovely, humble and inspiration couple, thank you! The PoZ family sincerely appreciate you and we pray that your marriage and ministry will continue to stand the test of time and grow from strength to strength, from glory to glory! It shall be well with you and all that concerns you! The way you have blessed us, the Lord shall magnify and bless you two! He shall incase you and enlarge your coast! Pastor K & Pastor M, I love you and I am glad, proud and honoured to have you as my Pastors, mentors, parents and friends! You are amazing!

Below, are more pictures from the surprise.

For more information about Pastor Kingsley & Mildred Okonkwo, please visit

Their Church Website-

LDM Website-

To watch their sermons-

Facebook Page-

Pastor Mildred’s blog (first hand account of the surprise also here)-

BB Pin- 2A492007

I hope this has inspired you to hold on and wait for that Godly spouse you have been praying for! May you not settle for anyone less than you deserve! Remember, you can have the marriage of your dreams and in fact, the Lord will exceed all your expectations and your marriage will be a testimony! Amen! Married folk, take a cue from Pastor K, it isn’t too late to show your spouse how special they are to you. God bless you all

Someone shared this prayer with me yesterday and I know it will bless the ladies- both single and married

Praying for my husband

His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13)
His Mind – That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears – That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8)
His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Psalm 19:14)
His Neck –That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)


Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Keeping my marriage alive, Marriage/Courtship, Singles, Waiting on my future spouse

Choosing my spouse: Hearing from God 2

Good Afternoon everyone,


Great news all round! I’ve received emails from some of you asking about how my Dissertation is going! Just to inform you that I submitted yesterday! Praise the Lord! It was an extremely trying and tasking process but I am grateful to God that it is over! I remember going to Lagos, thinking I could have some time to complete it but when I arrived, my father was very unwell and so I spent every single day with him, catering to his needs, praying for him and getting him on his feet! Thank God today, he is much better, stronger and active; thanks to God! There were so many issues and I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish on time but God saw me through the entire process and to Him I am extremely grateful!


On with today’s message, which is the second part about hearing God, I will be answering a question relating to hearing God that I have received so many times and I too have asked and it is relating to hearing God on the choice of a spouse! Many people have asked questions like

1- Does God choose my spouse for me?

2- Should I pick myself?

3- Do I need to ask God?

4- What if God chooses someone that I don’t like?


About two weeks ago, I think I came up with a suitable answer to this. Do you remember being a student in high school? After a certain grade, students get the opportunity to choose the subjects they would like to study in more detail. For instance, at my High School, we had to choose between History and Geography, Economics or Literature. Science or Arts. Now, for me, I had to go to my parents and tell them what I was considering but they had to agree. There were about five possible scenarios.

1- The easy way was you decide on a particular subject, told your parents they agreed and you went forward to make the choice. For example, I wanted to choose Biology, my parents thought it was a great choice, gave me their approval and I did. I however, had to ask for their approval first.

2- Another scenario is where you make a choice, present it to your parents but they do not agree! In this case, you would either stick with your choice or listen to your parents. For instance, I wanted to pick Literature but my parents thought Economics would be a better choice. They absolutely did not agree with Literature because they thought I wouldn’t enjoy it, the coursework was too much and Economics would be more beneficial for my career and I agreed. Unfortunately, I decided to still go with Literature and after a few months, I found that i absolutely hated it and couldn’t continue; I wish I had listened to my parents! Luckily for me, I was still within the time frame where I could drop it. At this point, I dropped Literature and decided to try Economics which they had already suggested and I found that I loved it, I enjoyed it and was passing! If I had waited past the deadline, I would be forced to continue with Literature with no option to drop it and if I failed, that would be my fault.

3- Another example is where your parents suggest a particular subject and you don’t agree. For instance, my parents suggested that I studied Physics and I felt it wasn’t in my interest, I didn’t like Physics and it would be too difficult to cope. My parents being understanding saw with it and realised i wouldn’t like it and said it was okay to forego Physics. So, we both agreed on that. Your parents love  you and want you to pick a subject you will love, enjoy and find rewarding; not one you would hate and endure! They know that exams, coursework and studying can be difficult and challenging as such you can not be forced to do a particular subject but should pick one you love and are happy to sit exams for. Besides, if I did pick Physics and I failed, I would instantly blame them. So, they knew it had to be something I agreed to study.

4-The forth case is where your parents actually make a suggestion to you which you instantly agree with because you find that you actually like the subject, enjoy it and are willing to learn, study and go through the tests and challenges. My parents suggested History and I instantly liked it and I picked it.

5- Another example is where your parents suggest something because they know you so well and are sure that studying such a subject would be instrumental in your career and you will enjoy it but initially you are not too keen; they don’t force you but reveal parts of that subject that you then begin to like and you think it would henceforth be a good choice. However, they didn’t force you, they suggested it and helped you to realise you would like it. My parents suggested Chemistry and I instantly did not like it; I thought “No way”. But my mother was highly insistent that I would like it and encouraged me to explore it; I later found out that I loved Chemistry, I picked it and I even got an A!


These are very similar to the situations one may face with the choice of who to marry but in the end it is your choice and God can not force you into something your heart is not in. God is not a slave-driving unfair wicked man. He is a loving, wise, kind, merciful and understanding Father and wants you to like your spouse and love him/her. He knows that marriage may have its challenges, tests and trials and for you to pass them, you will have to be committed to that spouse and willing to do the work that marriage requires! God however wants you to submit your choice to Him and ask for His approval. He doesn’t want you to make a wrong choice and end up in a wrong relationship or even worse; marriage! In my subject scenario, I still went with my personal choice that my parents didn’t agree with but luckily, this was still during the “courtship” phase and I was able to opt out but this was emotionally tasking and I wish I had altogether listened to them but I was lucky that I hadn’t gone into the permanent phase “marriage” where I had no choice but to live with my choice.


So, in essence God knows best! He absolutely does and it is imperative that we heed to His voice regarding who to court and marry. God knows you better than you know yourself and He sees your future and is therefore in a better position to advice you on who to marry. He does realise who will be the most suitable help meet or head for you. This is why sometimes when we present a choice to Him, He disapproves because He believes you won’t actually love the person in the long run and will not enjoy that marriage. He will expect you to look out for someone else and again seek His approval. Being an all knowing God, He will direct you and lead you. In some cases, God may even speak to you and suggest someone to marry; you may instantly realise the person is a perfect match or you may not immediately like them. I personally believe that God will not choose someone you don’t like and in the event that He does, He won’t force you to marry that person.


In the majority of cases, you will pick your spouse and you will need to ask for God’s approval but there are some instances were God has been the one to first reveal to someone who they should pick; this does happen especially for people whose future is in ministry but none of them have been forced to pick but actually saw the beauty of God’s choice and they themselves now made that their first choice! For some others, they may have protested at first but with time, God revealed more about the other person to them and they then were very happy to court and marry that person.


I hope these analogies have really cleared this up for you and given you a deeper revelation and meaning into the process of picking your future spouse. I also pray that you now fully understand the balance and the process of picking a spouse and will let God help and lead you. Be willing to hear from God, be prayerful at every point and always be open to God. You will not make a mistake in your choice but I decree that God will reserve His best for you and whoever you court and marry will be a humble, God fearing servant of God who will love and cherish you and you will have the marriage of your dreams! Amen! God bless you all.


Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Marriage/Courtship, Singles, Waiting on my future spouse

Love, Dating & Marriage- Anniversary Special


Good morning all,

How’s everyone? I trust that you’re all doing well and excelling in your families, ministries, work and beyond?

Firstly, due to my short and busy stay in Lagos, I haven’t had much time to blog but I have so many messages waiting and I will surely get them across to you by His Grace. Amen.

I know it is the 6th of September but I need to thank God for this wonderful month. I am grateful to God for letting us see another day, and yet another month. I thank God for letting my whole family see this month and by God’s grace, we will see many more. Amen.

POZ Blog celebrated it’s 2nd month anniversary this past Sunday, 2nd of September! Thanking God for all He’s done through this blog, the lives He has touched and the relationships that have been formed and have grown. Lord, we bless you and forever praise your name! I declare that this blog shall experience unusual growth from this day forth and more people shall be blessed and  come to know You. Amen.

Not only was Sunday a special day for us but it was a special edition of David’s Christian Centre’s Love, Dating & Marriage (it takes place every first Sunday of the month at DCC, hosted by Pastors Kingsley & Mildred Okonkwo). Sunday, however was a very special edition because the following day happened to be their 7th wedding anniversary. So, as wonderful, anointed and blessed as the couple is, they decided to dedicate that LDM edition to bless us with the Secrets of their marriage.

I knew this was something I couldn’t miss. I think it was a huge blessing that it happened while I was in Lagos. As you know, DCC is a Church I have followed from afar, but never had the privilege to visit but last Sunday I did and it was totally awesome. Where to start from? The praise and worship was mind blowing, the dance and drama performances were amazing! God was really present. Pastor K took the sermon and questions from the audience while Pastor M gave the closing prayer. I took notes of the 7 secrets that Pastor K shared. However, I will advise you to place an order for the CD. Details on how to order are below.


LDM Wedding anniversary special by Pastor K!

Seven secrets of their marriage.

1- Both of them are committed to God.

The operant words is-ARE! As it is a continuous thing.

Ecclesiastes 4:11- 12: Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

The third person here is God, we need God.

Don’t marry an unbeliever with the hope that you will change them. You don’t have the ability to change any man or human being. Only the Holy spirit can do that. Even you as a person, have you discovered how difficult it is to even change yourself? How much more another person. 


From day 1, it is important for both parties to be committed to God.

Some of you may ask? How do I know a serious Christian? If you are not a good Christian, that’s when you can’t recognise a good Christian. You must first of become a serious Christian yourself. You must have a living, vital connection with God. 


Remember that marriage was God’s idea, not Adam’s,  not humans or talk show hosts. It is spiritual. It takes two spiritually mature people to enjoy and be fulfilled by marriage.

Marriage doesn’t change anyone. What you do as a Christian is what you need to do in marriage e.g loving, forgiving etc.

Women, remember that submission is key! However, submission has its conditions. Submit to one who has an authority over him. In England, I bank with HSBC, in Nigeria, with Ecobank because I trust them with my money and know they’re governed by responsible authorities. I would never put my money in a road side bank with no legal protection because I will be putting my money at risk. It is the same thing with marriage. Women, submit to a man that has God and his pastors as authorities over him because he will be accountable. Don’t marry a man who has nobody to submit to.

Men, please read Ephesians 5:22-29

Ephesians 5:25 means putting your wife first and giving her the best.

2- Both of them decided that they could have a quarrel free marriage.

You need to make up your mind from the beginning. The moment you expect problems, you will receive them. Fighting doesn’t help anything. Be determined never to fight! You may have differences and otherwise but agree to always settle them amicably and instantly! Amen.

3- Both of them are givers.

This didn’t start when they met or when they decided to marry but as single individuals, they were already givers.

Marriage is not about taking but giving. As a single, deal with stinginess and greed. Be a giver by nature.

1 Corinthians 7:34- There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

You will need to give unto your spouse and please them! Be prepared for this by practising this as a single person. Amen.

Marriage is about giving. Service in Church is a good practise. For example, as a worker, you are sent on several errands, some congregants may be rude to you but you just smile and do your job. These are things you will need in marriage.

It takes a service-orientated person to be good in marriage.

Also, observe your intended spouse. How are they with their tithes? Do they pay them completely and faithfully or they don’t believe in tithing. I always say this- A person that pays their tithes cheerfully, is a cheerful and giving partner! Amen.

Watch out for the giver because marriage is about two people giving to each other.

4- Both of them heard God about marrying each other.

Proverbs 3:5-6- Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Don’t wait for marriage to hear God. Learn to hear His voice before then and be led by Him so you do not make a mistake.

5- They both have a single vision.

When two of you marry, please have a goal for the marriage. A family Vision is very vital.

Genesis 11:6- “Look!” he said. “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them!

Have a clear, concise and defined vision for your marriage/family. Something that you will both work towards.

6- They were both friends

Be friends! Don’t look for a wife and make her your friend.. Amongst your friends, look for a wife. Become friends with people, so you know their true nature and know if you get on or not and on that basis/platform, you can build a relationship and marriage. Amen.

7. They will always be open to each other.

Genesis 2:25- And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

One of my favourite Bible verses. This doesn’t refer to a physical nakedness alone but spiritual, financial, emotional, sexual, personal. As a married couple, do not hide anything from your spouse. If you do not hide your bodies from one another, why are you hiding your phone, laptop and magazines. Be open! The Word commands it to be so!

There ought to be openness, transparency and honesty in every area and communicate your feelings at all times.

I hope you were blessed by that! I certainly was! I had a great time at their Church and it was great to see Pastor K&M once again and it was an honour to worship in their Church. It was a great atmosphere and the message was extremely helpful- this is only a summary. Please call the number below to order your own CD.

They also have a wide variety of books such as

Who should I marry?

God told me to marry you.

7 Questions wise women ask.

7 Qualities wise men want.

Should ladies propose?

I love you but my parents say no.

Just us girls.

Waiting for Isaac.

When am I ready?

25 wrong reasons people enter relationships.

Please call 08077714411 or email to purchase any of these books and the CD from last Sunday’s LDM.

Special offer- As their anniversary gift, they are offering free delivery on all orders of books/CDs worth over 1000 Naira to anywhere in Lagos this week. Please call 08077714411 or 08077714412 to get the catalogue and details.

If you are interested in getting the CD but can’t afford it, please send me a message with your name and address and I will pay for an order for you. Please send your details to

I don’t want anyone to miss out on their messages or books, so please do endeavour to order them but if you sincerely can not afford it, please let me know and I will sponsor you and by God’s Grace, before the end of this season, the Lord will surely provide and you will be sponsoring others in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

I would like to end by thanking God for Pastor Kingsley and Mildred Okonkwo! They have been a huge blessing to my family, friends, ministry and life! They are two of the biggest inspirational people and have been great role models and mentors for me in every sphere of live. I thank God for their 7th wedding anniversary and pray for many more to come. The greatest thing about their marriage is not only that they are happily married but that their marriage has been a huge testimony, miracle and huge source of inspiration to many. I decree never ending love, joy, prosperity and fruitfulness for them and commit their Church, LDM, their families and beyond into God’s hand and pray that the Lord continue to rain His love, power and mercy upon them. May the Lord perfect all that concerns them in Jesus Name’. Amen.

I hope this message has blessed you and I look forward to hearing from you on how their CDs and books have changed your lives. Amen. God bless you all.


Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Keeping my marriage alive, Marriage/Courtship, Singles, Waiting on my future spouse

Christian Marriage Testimonies

Good Morning all ye beautiful people,

How have you enjoyed your week so far? I hope you’re well and looking forward to the week? In continuing with the Celebration of Marriage Week, I would like to share the story of two couples I came across. The first being the story of two Christians who met and today their passion and vision is to serve Christ and lead people to Him.

The second is a bit far from the usual “Christian Fairytale” but it is so powerful and inspiring and I know many people may be in a similar position. The second couple met and married as unbelievers and there was so much war in their marriage but by God’s mercy and divine intervention, they found God at the same time and gave their lives to Christ and as they say, the rest is History, AMEN.  I will be sharing the story of the second couple with you tomorrow! God bless you all.

The story of John and Ellen Duncan

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jer 29:11)

It was a warm, beautiful day in São Paulo, Brazil, on March 16, 1996. The place was beautifully decorated. The music, the flowers, and the food were just perfect. Our families and friends were together for this important event. We gazed at each other as we said, “I do.”

I smile as I think of one of the most wonderful blessings that God has given me: the blessing of marriage. Just recently, as I thought of the blessing my husband, Bro. John, has been to me, the Lord took me back to a Friday night in 1991… That was the night I became faithful to my husband-to-be, not having met him yet. This faithfulness was not only physical, but also a faithfulness in heart and in eyes.

Laying Isaac on the Altar

I had only been saved for a little while when the Lord dealt with me. “Ellen, will you put your dating life on the altar?” This question haunted me for a little while, for I knew that He was asking me to trust Him with the question of marriage. Nevertheless, I had never heard of anyone doing such and did not know exactly how to go about doing it. Besides, all the other Christians I knew dated… However, I knew that God wanted to take me to a deeper walk with Him.

Certain verses started to get my attention as I sought the Lord. Verses such as,“…But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Mat. 6:33), “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” (Col. 3:2) “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6) Besides, “dating” is just not found anywhere in the Scriptures.

Finally, after much prayer, I made a covenant with the Lord, wrote it on paper, signed it, and prayed over it with my pastor’s wife. In this covenant I told the Lord that I would trust Him with my future mate, and that whatever time I would be spending with a boyfriend, I’d spend with God in prayer and in the Word instead. It would not have been enough for me to just give up dating, but it was imperative to replace that void with the Lord. I also told Him that if it was not His will that I’d ever marry, that I’d be willing to serve Him in whatever way He wanted, even if He wanted to send me as a single missionary to a hut in the middle of Africa, to be killed in a muslim country, or to just be a janitor in my local church. The only thing I asked of Him was that if it was His will that I ever married, He would let me know when my husband came.

The Lord Is My Shepherd: I Shall Not Want!

For the next 3½ years I had what was like honeymoon with the Lord as I delighted myself in Him. He kept pouring more and more of His presence in my life, teaching me out of the Scriptures, and visiting me in my devotions. I spentall my free time with the Lord. Words cannot describe the way I felt as God fulfilled all my longings to be married, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name.” (Isa 54:5). At one point, I was so satisfied that I even thought that maybe God wanted me to remain single. As time progressed though, He revealed to me that I would marry one day and that He was grooming me to be a helpmeet suitable for some godly man.

Young lady, What kind of man are you looking for in a husband? Are you looking for a godly man? And what kind of woman will a godly man be looking for in a wife? Of course, he will be looking for a godly woman! That is why it is so important for young people to completely consecrate themselves to the Lord while they are single. If they sow into the Spirit, one day they will be able to give their spouses a godly mate to share their lives with. A mate who will know how to get a hold of God in time of need, one who has the Word hid in his / her heart, and one who will not be tossed to and fro like the waves of the sea. Young lady, if you do not give yourself unreservedly to God, that godly young man may not recognize you when he comes!

Learning to Hear His Voice

We do not win the world by becoming more like the world. We win them bygetting so close to Jesus that He tells us what to say. Likewise, we do not find out who our spouses are by dating one here, another one there, trying this one, and trying that one. We find out who our spouses are by getting so close to Jesus that we learn to hear His voice accurately. The “dating game” leads todisappointment, confusion, hurt, and embarrassment. Some people marry and have hurts from past relationships that interfere with their service to God. I also know young people who played the “dating game” and who are now in the ministry, serving the Lord with all their hearts. However, it is always awkward when a certain evangelist comes to minister because he used to be the pastor’s wife’s boyfriend! This embarrassing situation could have been avoided if, instead of trying the “dating game,” the young people had gotten down on their knees and prayed for guidance and direction from the Lord. The Bible says that “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27). God wants you to marry the right person even more than you want it yourself!

Someone told us that a certain young lady married a young man who seemed to be a great guy but later turned out to be in awful sins, leading to a divorce. The comment was, “if she had dated him longer and spent more time with him, she would have found that he was not a good fellow!” However, we know that there have been marriages where a partner hid his / her sins for many years before the spouse ever found out about it! The solution is, that if she had spent more time with God (not with the young man) asking for direction, God would have told her not to do it! See, a sinner can fool everyone, but he can not fool God, and God will give us wisdom if we ask of Him (Jam 1:5). This is a promise. Oh, young people, how important it is for us to hear from God on this issue! Marriage is for a lifetime and once you exchange your marriage vows “until death do us part,”that is the right person for you.

Yes, God can work beautifully with couples who get saved after they are married, but why take the chance of missing God? Many lives and ministries have been destroyed or handicapped because of a bad marriage! Please seek the Lord and don’t trust in your feelings!

Lord, Teach Me to Number My Days

Think about the young men and women that spend hundreds of hours with each other, just to end with a breakup. Precious time has been wasted that will never come back. What if they had spent those hundreds of hours with the Lord, instead of spending them with someone that they are not even going to marry? Would that not have been more beneficial to their souls?

I have heard it said that dating makes you mature and causes you to grow as a person. For example, that it will help you be more patient, more selfless, more understanding, etc. The only problem with this thought is that Jesus did not need to date around to grow as a person, did He? No, He spent time with the Father. Why don’t we just do the same? It is by spending time with the Father that we are filled with His presence and the fruits of the Holy Spirit… “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Gal. 5:22-23)

During those 3½ years that I spent with the Lord in such a special way, Psalm 32:8 came alive to me: “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” Silly me, I just imagined a bouncing eyeball leading me by the hand. I asked, “Lord, how can You guide me with Your eye? Why is it not Your hand, or Your Word? This does not make sense. Why is it Your eye?” The Lord reminded me about when I was a little girl. All my dad had to do to make me obey was to “look” at me in a certain way. My dad was guiding me with his eye. In the same way, the Lord can guide us with His eye — the only “catch” is, that for you to know what He is saying with His eye, you must be beholding His face. The Lord was telling me that as I served Him with all my heart and sought His face (not His hand), when my husband came, He would guide me with His eye saying, “look over there, Ellen – there’s your husband!”

Adorned on the Inside

I was also very careful in all manner of conversation around the opposite sex. I am sometimes disturbed at the boldness of some young ladies towards the young men these days. The Bible is clear that the man is to be the head of the household, and, as the leader, he should be the first one to show interest. The Bible says that “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing” (Prov. 18:22), NOT“whoso findeth a husband.” Also, the word “shamefacedness” (1 Tim 2:9) means “to be bashful in the presence of the opposite sex.” The godly virgins in the Bible were adorned with a meek and quiet spirit. “And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel… And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.” (Gen. 24:64-65)

I wanted to be faithful to my husband-to-be before I ever met him. At times I would pray for him, for God’s will to come to pass in his life, and that God would keep him pure and holy, drawing him closer to the Lord. On a few occasions I wrote him letters addressed “To My Husband-to-be” where I shared all the things God had been doing in my life (I later gave Bro. John all those letters after our engagement). By the grace of God, I never became interested in anyone during that period of time because God had not showed him to me yet. I never let my eyes wander or my imaginations fly. See, I wanted to give my husband-to-be someone pure not only physically, but pure in motives, in consecration to God, and in eyes.

God is Faithful

In 1994 we were in a transitional time in our campus ministry at Auburn University, Alabama. Our Campus Pastor had just left and we were in need of a new pastor. As I was praying one afternoon, the name “John Duncan” came to my mind. I had never met “John Duncan” before but he had led devotions in a retreat I attended a couple of years back. I was somewhat puzzled by this unusual event because I did not remember him, but God brought his name of my remembrance. I felt like I must pray for John Duncan, that God would give him direction in life and open up doors of ministry for him.

Two weeks after this incident, a sister greeted me on campus and wanted to give me some good news. She said, “Ellen, have you heard? We have a new campus pastor!” I said, “Praise the Lord, that’s great! What’s his name?” She replied, “His name is John Duncan!” I screamed in excitement, “What??? Are you serious? I can’t believe it – I prayed for this man 2 weeks ago!”

At this point I did not know anything about Bro. John. He could have been a married man with kids, etc. I only assumed that it was a confirmation from God that “John Duncan” was indeed to be our pastor and was overjoyed that I heard from the Lord in prayer. Oh, how I wanted to be sensitive to His voice!

After a couple of weeks, Bro. John showed up on campus hauling everything he owned in his little Honda Civic. He was a godly man, 3 years older than me, and single. However, I would not even entertain the idea of a romance because: 1) God had not told me that he was the one yet and 2) Bro. John was my pastor. I did not want to get my heart involved first and later try to hear from God.

Much Carefulness is Needed

The Bible says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Prov. 4:23) One mistake people make is to get emotionally involved too soon. This makes it hard to hear from God. I have met many people who made an infatuated decision and came to be sorry for the rest of their lives. God tried to tell them again and again that they were not to marry someone, but because they wanted it so much, they were blinded and deaf to their parents’ warnings, their pastor’s warnings, their friends’ warnings, and shipwrecked their lives. The Bible says that the children of Israel “lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert.” The scary part is that God “…gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul.”(Psa 106:14-15) Oh, one should never come to God with a made-up mind, especially on this issue!!!

Running For God With All Our Might

I watched as Bro. John started to raise up a powerful group of young men on campus, who would do anything for the Lord. However, the girls’ side of the fellowship was lacking because of his inability to minister to the women. So Bro. John called me one day on the phone and asked me to lead a Bible Study with the young ladies on campus. Pretty soon, I was naturally doing for the girls the same things that he was doing for the young men.

Here I must recount the best nugget of wisdom that came from a pastor’s wife to John before we ever met. She told him, “Son, you just run for God. Run for God with all your might and do not worry about who you will marry. Just keep your eyes on Jesus. One day you will look next to you and you will find someone running alongside of you. That will be your wife.” This word was coming to pass in our lives without our awareness.

As time went on, I started to notice that many of my prayers on Bro. John’s behalf were answered immediately (God was trying to get my attention). I’d be praying for God to bless his finances not knowing the need and God would answer. I’d be praying for his health not knowing that he had been sick. Also, everything we laid our hands to do was blessed. We had opposite personalities and gifts, so we complemented each other very well. I started to notice how we worked well together. Soon I was asking, “Lord, is he the one? Could John be my husband-to-be?”

Thunder, Fire, Earthquake… And A Still, Small Voice

Some strange things started happening. For example, we had many people, both strangers and ministers that we respected, telling us (separately) that they thought we made a good team and saying that we should get married. Some of them were quite bold. However, neither John knew this was happening to me nor did I know that it was happening to him too! After a few months praying and watching all of this happen, it became clear to me that (yes!) he was my husband-to-be! Now I had to wait until God revealed it to John (waiting was the hard part), as I had no idea that God was working in his heart already. Praise God, He was honoring our covenant, when I asked Him to let me know when my husband came around!

Bro. John started to call me more often to ask me about the Bible Studies and we started spending more and more time on the telephone, even though we only lived a couple of blocks away.  This is a wonderful way to get to know someone — with a long phone line in between you.  During this time he let me know of his interest.

After much prayer and some struggle to find God’s perfect will, on January 23, 1996, Bro. John took me to “the bench” where he preached in the open-air on campus. There on the bench with emotion, we prayed together. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was more than ready and said a resounding “yes!”

Honor Your Father and Mother

John’s parents, aunts, and uncles had already met me before our engagement and were excited about our marriage. Our last test was to tell my parents. They are not Christians. What would they think if they found out that I was marrying a minister? This meant that their hope of ever having me come back to my home (in Brazil) would be extinguished. They had so carefully fixed my room while I was gone to college. They would never be able to be close to the grandchildren. They were not “gaining” a son, but they were truly “losing” their baby daughter. I asked the Lord that if it was His will, that He would speak to my lost parents and that they would give us their blessing.

It disturbs me to see young people disregard their parents’ and pastor’s warnings — especially if they are Christian parents! The 5th Commandment is to honor our parents. If either John’s parents or mine had a problem with our relationship, we would have at least postponed the marriage until God either changed their hearts or ours. See, God has given us to our parents for guidance and nourishment. It was my parents, though they are lost, who took care of me when I could not take care of myself. They fed me and invested their time, money, and love in my life. Though they were not perfect, yet I know that they loved me and God could speak through them (He spoke through a donkey). I only knew that it was RIGHT to have my dad walk me down the isle and give me away to my husband, who would now be my spiritual head. I also know that God could deal with my parents’ hearts, but it would be a miracle.

One godly woman told me of how that when any young man would call to talk to her, she would say, “please talk to my dad.” Also, when a young man wrote her a love letter, she handed it to her parents before ever opening the envelope. She wanted her parents to tell her what they thought of the young man first. Today, she is happily married to a pastor with no regrets. Oh, how I wish there were more young people like that!

When we called my parents and John asked my dad for my hand in marriage, all my dad (who is an Agnostic) could say was, “Ellen, this is the LORD, daughter. This is God’s will for you. I want you to know that you have, not only our permission, but you have our full blessings as you marry this young man and serve God together.” God was giving us green lights all the way – no red flags at all!

A Single Life of No Regrets

Some young people may stay single. We know people who have remained single for God and have accomplished many things that they never could have if they had a family, especially in the foreign mission field. If you do stay single, use your singleness for the glory of God! Others may not have the “gift” of being a celibate. These will find their fruitful ministry in marriage in a way that they never would had they stayed single. You just need to get down on your knees, pray, and ask the Lord what He would have for your life. We have all been single at one point in our lives, and whether this is a temporary or a permanent state, take advantage of your singleness and run for God!

I can look back during my single years and say that I have no regrets. I may now have less time to spend with God (as the Bible says in 1 Cor 7), but God has multiplied our efforts because we are in His will. One of my prayers was that if we could each reach 5 for God by ourselves, that God would let us reach 15+ when put together, thus multiplying our efforts. I have found my life to be more fruitful to the Lord after marriage than before.

How foolish the modern thought that “You Can Be Happy Though Married.”  Neither singleness nor marriage are necessary to happiness, but rather a contentment to be what God wants us to be and a commitment to give Him our whole being for His glory in whatever state we are. 

God Is the Best Match Maker

If there is a “perfect marriage,” I can testify that we have one (that does not mean that we don’t have different opinions. After all, we need others to keep us accountable and help us to see a different perspective). We are happily married, love each other more today than when we uttered “I do” and work together better than ever. I could never have picked someone better for me than Bro. John. I appreciate him so much. Only God knew my spiritual make-up and could have so perfectly arranged my marriage. The Bible says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psa. 37:4) We also have another advantage – we will never be able to say that we have married the wrong person, because of the way that God orchestrated it all.

Trust God

Some people say, “there are no eligible godly men where I live.” So? Is anything too hard for the Lord? I am from Brazil, Bro. John is from Marietta, Georgia, and we met in Alabama. We were married at 27 and 25 years-old. (If I had to wait longer I’d be happily serving the Lord until His perfect timing for a perfect union). A friend of ours was 26 when she met her husband. There were no young, godly men in her little town in Mississippi. However, she went to California, where she met a 30 year-old Associate Pastor from Virginia. This couple married with a wonderful testimony of never being alone, hugging, kissing, or even holding hands before marriage (do you ever wonder why the pastor says, “NOW you may kiss the bride?”).

Young people, as you read this, please don’t think our story is odd. There are at least 8 other couples we personally know (in the U.S.) that gave up the “dating game” and are now happily married, serving the Lord. All of these couples are involved in the ministry today. The one thing that they all have in common is that God went the extra mile in every case, giving each a wonderful testimony of His faithfulness. Wouldn’t you like to have a testimony to tell your children and grandchildren?

In countries like the Ukraine, the young men and the young women do not hang out together alone. The men sit on one side of the church, while the women sit on the other. Flirting is just not something they do. When a young man is old enough to be married, he prays about who to marry. When he has an answer, this young man will take it to his pastor / parents. They will then pray. If they feel like it’s from the Lord, they go to the girl’s parents and they will all pray. If they still feel like it is of the Lord, they will finally tell the girl and ask her to pray about it. If she feels like it is God’s will, then they will marry. The result of this: not one baby born out of wedlock and not one divorce in all the churches that we have worked with.

Please do not settle for second best in this matter. You would be better off being alone than with the wrong crowd. Please be patient, for in His time He will bring His will to pass in your life.

“And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”
Isaiah 30:21

John’s account

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

I appreciate now more than ever how my wife committed herself to the Lord before we were married.

When I met Sis. Ellen she struck me as the most spiritually mature young lady that I had ever met. She was not “boycrazy,” but a solid, focused Christian. I was most impressed with the power of her prayer life, but she also was a very bold witness for God. Sis. Ellen would not tell me but I would find out about her shutting herself away in her apartment for 14 days at a time to pray and fast, to do nothing but seek God during her vacation. This attracted me as a man of God. I thought she was physically beautiful, but I knew that I needed somebody who was primarily spiritually strong because of what God had for me to do. I saw that marrying her would be a great, incredibly powerful enhancement of who I could be as a man of God. There were other girls that were not attractive to me because they were “boycrazy” and spiritual milk toast.

My wife did not have to go through a spiritual boot camp to learn how to pray after we went on the mission field. My wife learned to pray, fast and live a godly life without me, so now I can trust her and have complete confidence in her even when I’m gone. Sometimes I go overseas without her and I do not worry one bit about her spiritual state or her faithfulness to me.

Since we’ve gotten married, we have lived what some would consider a real walk of faith and self sacrifice but my wife hasn’t complained about our living circumstances. We had a nice 3 bedroom home but we left all to live in a 19 foot RV when we went out full time. This was a God-given dream of mine but not usually the ideal situation most women would want to get into.

It’s been a joy living with someone that I know the Lord has prepared to labor with me. She is just perfect for me, and the Lord knows best for you. If you will let God have you totally He will show you His plan for your life. Trust in God.

Thank God for such a wonderful and glorious couple who have now been married for sixteen glorious years and not a single regret; may that be our portion and testimony in Jesus’ Name! I pray that this has touched someone and by God’s Grace will give you the faith and confidence to trust in the Lord and wait on Him. Amen. Remember, it is the Celebration of Marriage Week, appreciate your spouse today! Tune in tomorrow for the testimony of the other couple.Have a lovely weekend.  God bless you all. Amen.


Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Keeping my marriage alive, Marriage/Courtship, Prayer, Serving God, Singles, Waiting on my future spouse

Celebration of marriage week

Good Morning everyone,

How are you today? Praying you had an enjoyable and fun filled weekend? Over the weekend and in fact, the whole week, there was a huge influx of stories about bad marriages and tragic stories of serial spousal infidelity and spousal abuse. These stories really hurt me because they weren’t fiction but were very real and it is painful to know that people are going through “hell” in their marriages; what was even more worrying were the several hundreds of comments accepting that sort of behaviour and saying it was normal but “you just have to endure”.

Well, as God would have it, everything He does is perfect and His timing is always perfect because this week at my Church (RCCG Jesus House London) we will be we having our “Celebration of Marriage Week” it actually started yesterday Sunday 12th and will end this Saturday 18th August 2012. I thought it would be lovely to join them in celebrating the gift of the institution of marriage, particularly at a time when marriage as we know it is under attack in today’s society.

I know we have spoken about the dangers of getting married to the wrong person, we’ve spoken about infidelity amongst other things but this week, I am here to reassure you that the One who created marriage; created it to be beautiful, honourable and the marriage bed undefiled. This week, we will look at the beauty of marriage, how to enjoy your marriage and not endure, I will also try to get some successful Christian marriage stories for us to read, enjoy and be inspired by. These days all we read are the failure stories, the stories about cheating, abuse, HIV and so on; even though these are really true, I want you to know that is NOT God’s plan for marriage and those things should not be accepted as the norm! Everyday I see and talk to happy Christian couples; you too can have the marriage of your dreams.

The point of this week is not to dispel those tragic stories, I indeed admit that they are very true, real and happen everyday but I want to ensure and promise you that NOT all marriages function that way. There are happy, healthy marriages in which both parties are faithful and loving to each other. So, I just want to tell you not to be scared off by such stories but be very careful, prayerful and discerning about who you choose to marry; make sure you pick wisely, prepare yourself and only seek God’s direction.

Married Couples

Please join us to celebrate marriage this week and surprise your spouse; specifically pray for your marriage this week, ask God for a revival, surprise your spouse with a date night this week, a gift and do something romantic for them. That thing your spouse has always wanted to do, please do it for them this week; life is too short, let them know you love them.

I’m setting a challenge for all the married people in the house, tell your spouse you love him/her at least TEN times each day of the week. In the morning when you wake up, at night, when you go to work, send them a text to say you love and miss them. Call them just to say it. I honestly believe that it will bring back the spice and romance in your marriage.

When last did you kiss your spouse in front of your children? Don’t be shy; let them know you are indeed husband and wife: do that everyday this week. Men, when last did you open the car door for your wife? Please do that every day of this week and beyond. Men, if you never cook for your wife, why not do that this week? I urge you to plan a different surprise for your spouse each day of this week and top it up with the hugest surprise on Saturday! Ladies, if you’ve been too busy to cook for your husband, cook his favourite meal for him this week.

It is the celebration of marriage week; appreciate your spouse this week. Why not leave them a love note on the fridge or on the bathroom mirror? Stop taking your spouse for granted please, you are lucky, highly blessed and favoured to be married, honour your spouse this week and you’ll see how much they appreciate your gesture and watch how it will usher you into a new dimension of love, unity, greatness and romance! In the words of Pastor Bayo Adewole, why not “minister” to your spouse in bed every night of this week. Some of you have been married for only ten years, yet you haven’t slept with your spouse in a whole month, this week is celebration of marriage week, do it every day this week, I don’t care where, when or how but reverence them, reverence their body. As Pastor K will say, married couples should have sex anytime and anywhere; don’t limit yourself to the bed or bedroom. It’s just one week and who knows, that baby you’ve been praying for might be gifted to you this week, sex is meant to be enjoyed in marriage and not endured or used as a weapon, do this challenge this week and just see the difference it will make to your marriage and the heightened level of intimacy and love that will arise as a result.

Some of you don’t even pray together anymore; you stopped that after one year of marriage; remember that every home will face storms but we stand strong in prayers. 1 Thessalonians 5:17- Pray without ceasing. This week, grab your spouse and pray together, pray for each other and read the Bible everyday together this week. Some of you even go out together and people can’t tell that you’re married, hold your spouse’s hand in public, don’t be ashamed or shy; that is your wife; your husband! Hold their hand, smile, and look into each other’s eyes.

Courting couples

I ask you to seek God’s face this week and pray with your partner everyday; in person or over the phone, just ensure that you pray together every single day this week and let them know you appreciate them. Reaffirm your decision to marry them and begin preparations for your marriage this week by praying together and looking forward to marriage. For some of you, God led you to your partner, you liked them and prayed about it and God has given you the go-ahead to marry them, I challenge the men who are sure this is who you want to marry and God has told you that she is indeed your wife, I challenge you to pop the question this week. This is for those who are 100% sure that this is the woman you want to marry and God has indeed given you the go-ahead, if you are emotionally, spiritually and financially ready, why not do some romantic things for her this week and top it up with a surprise romantic proposal on Saturday. Pray together this week, pray for your partner this week and continue to ask God to lead and direct you and to help you to keep the relationship honourable and clean. Ask God to help the two of you to make it to the alter, to be submitted to God, faithful to Him and one another.


I challenge you to read about marriage this week, check the Bible and see what the Lord says about marriage, pray this week, pray every day this week that the Lord will reveal His ultimate plan and purpose for marriage. Pray that He will show you His vision for marriage and you won’t be indoctrinated by the world’s idea of marriage but led by the Kingdom’s principles for marriage. Pray that the Lord will prepare you for marriage this week, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, domestically, financially and in every single way. Ask the Lord to prepare you for your marriage, pray for your future spouse this week. Yes, you don’t know him/her but by God’s Grace, they will show up soon. Pray that the Lord will guide and protect them, cover them with His precious blood and prepare them wherever they are for you. Pray that the Lord will favour, bless and prosper their life, career, business, home and beyond. Ask that the Lord will put a yearning within them to find you, ask that the Lord will direct them to your path with God’s speed. Ask that the Lord will cause them to show up this season and when they see you, they will see your glory. Ask that the Lord bless and guide you and ask Him that this time next year, you too will be celebrating the marriage week with your own spouse. AMEN!

God bless marriage, God bless all the married couples in the house; may your joy never end. May the grace and favour of the Lord be upon your homes now and forever more. To all the courting couples, I pray that the Lord will grant you God’s speed, direction and favour and before the next “Celebration of marriage week”, we will be congratulating you on your marriage. Amen. To all the singles in the house, may the Lord smile upon you this season and change your status in Jesus’ Name. Amen! Remember, marriage is beautiful and honourable! God bless marriage! God bless you all. I pray that the challenges I have set for you this week will really bring about a revival and uplifting in your lives, relationships and marriages and you will make them a habit; I pray this week will cause us to truly appreciate the institution of marriage and to it God’s way. Amen.

Feel free to email me your success stories, testimonies of how these little gestures have awakened your marriage or if you have been married for any length of time and have had an inspiring and positive experience of marriage and would like to share and inspire others, please send me an email-

God bless you all

Jesus House Celebration of Marriage Week

During the course of the week, we will have various activities and lots of surprises for couples, so we would love you to keep these dates free in your dairy. Our Couples’ Ball on Saturday 18th August will mark the finale of the week’s celebration, we would love for you to come along with your spouse to what promises to be an evening of great entertainment with lots of fun, laughter and dancing.

Tickets: £30 per couple. For more information email: or call the church office on 0208 438 8285

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Men and Infidelity..Finale

Good Afternoon,

How are you enjoying your Saturday? I am sure most of you are out having fun, spending time with your spouses, children and friends! Enjoy, my friends; life is short! Today is the concluding episode of the series;  “Men and Infidelity” and I must admit I decided to leave this to very last because it certainly is the hardest, most difficult, heart wrenching one to write because this if addressing the victims- married women.

If you are in a marriage and your husband has been unfaithful to you, I sincerely sympathise with you. I could give you a whole list of “should-haves and could-haves” but I will save you the agony. If your husband was unfaithful, remorseful and is now repentant: I would say you should ask God for the grace to forgive him. Ask God to heal you of such hurt and to restore your marriage. The two of you should undertake STD/HIV tests: just to ensure that everything is okay. Your husband has to give his life to Christ and genuinely form a relationship with God. The two of you should pray together daily, serve in Church, attend Sunday and Wednesday service and join the marriage ministry for married couples. Make sure that God is the centre of your relationship. I understand that it may take time to rebuild trust but remember that God asks us to forgive and even when we sin against Him and repent, He forgives us and gives us a clean slate. Do the same with him but explain that it will take time to rebuild your intimacy; he should be understanding and compliant. The two of you should agree that he make a concerted effort to rebuild trust by being very open about his feelings, emotions, work and friends.

It is important that you discuss his reason for cheating; was he bored? Did he get too close to the woman and then fell into temptation? Or is it because you have been spending too much time with the children? Is it the late nights with the secretary or the constant nightclub crawling? Whatever it is needs to be addressed and cut off! If the problem was unholy outings or affiliations, he must cut off all contact with those parties! Amen. While you rebuild trust, you may not be open to the usual sex until you can trust him; explain this to him. You may have to refrain from sex altogether or limit it to protected sex until the trust is rebuilt, discuss this and pray about it. The most important thing is to pray and use wisdom. Don’t subject yourself to any harm: so you must be wise

As a married woman, take care of your physical appearance! I will never say it was your fault he cheated; of course not but ensure your countenance is as good as it can be, get your hair and nails done, don’t dress like a grandmother neither should you look like one! Go to the gym, run, exercise and eat healthy! Once the trust is rebuilt, the two of you should spend time together, romantic weekends and getaways, cook special meals for him, wear sexy lingerie and in accordance with the word in Proverbs 5:19; satisfy your husband at all times! Keep things in the bedroom spicy and interesting! Like my Pastor said, if a man is fed till capacity at home, he won’t eat outside of the home; especially knowing that there’ll be more waiting for him at home. Simple! Keep praying together and even when you are alone pray for him, anoint him with oil, walk around your home praying over your matrimonial home, anoint your house and decree that there shall be no more unfaithfulness; AMEN! Keep praying to God, keep praying together.

On the unfortunate incident that you married a serial cheat who seems not to be remorseful or willing to stop. You may have to cease all sexual activity with him to protect yourself from STDs. Report the infidelity to someone he respects and to a trusted Pastor, keep praying and try to seek counsel together! If he is willing to change, then work together with the Pastors and with the points above, if however he is totally adamant on cheating, you will have to decide whether you will stay married to him, separate or divorce. What I would advise is a total stop to sexual activity and resume fervent prayers; spend your time asking God to change his heart, just keep having faith in God and praying for your husband. Focus your energy on serving God, raising your children and developing your career/business. You need to make sure you are busy and spending your time doing something worthwhile but just keep praising God and praying. You will be surprised what prayer can do, one day the Holy Spirit will surely change his heart and he will give his life to Christ and come back to his home. Amen.

The Bible however permits divorce on the grounds of adultery so if you find that you can’t forgive him and can’t continue or if your husband seems to have become a total monstrosity and you sincerely feel that is the best option, the Bible says you are free to do so.

I just pray today for every marriage that is being clouded by this spirit of infidelity, may the Lord destroy and rebuke every such spirit and restore peace, commitment and faithfulness to your marriage. May the Lord give every person who has fallen into infidelity, a new and repentant spirit and help them to see their spouses as their one and only! I pray that no matter what happened in the past, in this month of August, the Lord will usher all such marriages into a new beginning of true love, greatness, joy, mercy, unity and faithfulness! May the Lord smile upon you this month and give you a new song, may the Lord turn your mourning into dancing again. May your marriage have a complete divine transformation and now become a testimony of God’s divine greatness and favour.

To all the singles, may the Lord lead and direct you to the right and Godly spouses; may you never have cause to regret or weep in your matrimonial home! May you never experience sorrow, abuse or infidelity in your homes. May your marriages be filled with love, joy, commitment, God’s goodness and mercy. AMEN!

You can have the marriage of your dreams; just ask Him; the author and creator of marriage! God bless you all


There has been a recent influx of news and tragic stories of traumatic marriages to men of abuse and serial infidelity. These stories have spread very wide and fast and though they are a true and current picture of the state of many marriages, I ask you all to please be aware that; those are not examples of what a good marriage should be and that was Never God’s vision or idea of marriage. Be aware that these things do happen but also be sure and believe that happy, healthy and lasting marriages do exist and not all mean are the same; they don’t all cheat or beat their wives.

This is a call for every happily married couple in the house to send us your story; we would love you to tell us how you have made it this far. We would especially love to hear from the men who have been married for years and never cheated or beaten their wives. We would love to hear from you and share your story with the readers, so they can be encouraged and aware that not all men are the same and they can indeed marry a great and Godly man. Please be very honest and sincere about everything: we understand that life and of course marriage has its challenges and temptations but tell us how you have lived through the challenges and stayed faithful! We would love to hear your testimony. You don’t need to send in your name or anything about your identity. Please just post a comment or send me an email on


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