Good Afternoon everyone,
Great news all round! I’ve received emails from some of you asking about how my Dissertation is going! Just to inform you that I submitted yesterday! Praise the Lord! It was an extremely trying and tasking process but I am grateful to God that it is over! I remember going to Lagos, thinking I could have some time to complete it but when I arrived, my father was very unwell and so I spent every single day with him, catering to his needs, praying for him and getting him on his feet! Thank God today, he is much better, stronger and active; thanks to God! There were so many issues and I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish on time but God saw me through the entire process and to Him I am extremely grateful!
On with today’s message, which is the second part about hearing God, I will be answering a question relating to hearing God that I have received so many times and I too have asked and it is relating to hearing God on the choice of a spouse! Many people have asked questions like
1- Does God choose my spouse for me?
2- Should I pick myself?
3- Do I need to ask God?
4- What if God chooses someone that I don’t like?
About two weeks ago, I think I came up with a suitable answer to this. Do you remember being a student in high school? After a certain grade, students get the opportunity to choose the subjects they would like to study in more detail. For instance, at my High School, we had to choose between History and Geography, Economics or Literature. Science or Arts. Now, for me, I had to go to my parents and tell them what I was considering but they had to agree. There were about five possible scenarios.
1- The easy way was you decide on a particular subject, told your parents they agreed and you went forward to make the choice. For example, I wanted to choose Biology, my parents thought it was a great choice, gave me their approval and I did. I however, had to ask for their approval first.
2- Another scenario is where you make a choice, present it to your parents but they do not agree! In this case, you would either stick with your choice or listen to your parents. For instance, I wanted to pick Literature but my parents thought Economics would be a better choice. They absolutely did not agree with Literature because they thought I wouldn’t enjoy it, the coursework was too much and Economics would be more beneficial for my career and I agreed. Unfortunately, I decided to still go with Literature and after a few months, I found that i absolutely hated it and couldn’t continue; I wish I had listened to my parents! Luckily for me, I was still within the time frame where I could drop it. At this point, I dropped Literature and decided to try Economics which they had already suggested and I found that I loved it, I enjoyed it and was passing! If I had waited past the deadline, I would be forced to continue with Literature with no option to drop it and if I failed, that would be my fault.
3- Another example is where your parents suggest a particular subject and you don’t agree. For instance, my parents suggested that I studied Physics and I felt it wasn’t in my interest, I didn’t like Physics and it would be too difficult to cope. My parents being understanding saw with it and realised i wouldn’t like it and said it was okay to forego Physics. So, we both agreed on that. Your parents love you and want you to pick a subject you will love, enjoy and find rewarding; not one you would hate and endure! They know that exams, coursework and studying can be difficult and challenging as such you can not be forced to do a particular subject but should pick one you love and are happy to sit exams for. Besides, if I did pick Physics and I failed, I would instantly blame them. So, they knew it had to be something I agreed to study.
4-The forth case is where your parents actually make a suggestion to you which you instantly agree with because you find that you actually like the subject, enjoy it and are willing to learn, study and go through the tests and challenges. My parents suggested History and I instantly liked it and I picked it.
5- Another example is where your parents suggest something because they know you so well and are sure that studying such a subject would be instrumental in your career and you will enjoy it but initially you are not too keen; they don’t force you but reveal parts of that subject that you then begin to like and you think it would henceforth be a good choice. However, they didn’t force you, they suggested it and helped you to realise you would like it. My parents suggested Chemistry and I instantly did not like it; I thought “No way”. But my mother was highly insistent that I would like it and encouraged me to explore it; I later found out that I loved Chemistry, I picked it and I even got an A!
These are very similar to the situations one may face with the choice of who to marry but in the end it is your choice and God can not force you into something your heart is not in. God is not a slave-driving unfair wicked man. He is a loving, wise, kind, merciful and understanding Father and wants you to like your spouse and love him/her. He knows that marriage may have its challenges, tests and trials and for you to pass them, you will have to be committed to that spouse and willing to do the work that marriage requires! God however wants you to submit your choice to Him and ask for His approval. He doesn’t want you to make a wrong choice and end up in a wrong relationship or even worse; marriage! In my subject scenario, I still went with my personal choice that my parents didn’t agree with but luckily, this was still during the “courtship” phase and I was able to opt out but this was emotionally tasking and I wish I had altogether listened to them but I was lucky that I hadn’t gone into the permanent phase “marriage” where I had no choice but to live with my choice.
So, in essence God knows best! He absolutely does and it is imperative that we heed to His voice regarding who to court and marry. God knows you better than you know yourself and He sees your future and is therefore in a better position to advice you on who to marry. He does realise who will be the most suitable help meet or head for you. This is why sometimes when we present a choice to Him, He disapproves because He believes you won’t actually love the person in the long run and will not enjoy that marriage. He will expect you to look out for someone else and again seek His approval. Being an all knowing God, He will direct you and lead you. In some cases, God may even speak to you and suggest someone to marry; you may instantly realise the person is a perfect match or you may not immediately like them. I personally believe that God will not choose someone you don’t like and in the event that He does, He won’t force you to marry that person.
In the majority of cases, you will pick your spouse and you will need to ask for God’s approval but there are some instances were God has been the one to first reveal to someone who they should pick; this does happen especially for people whose future is in ministry but none of them have been forced to pick but actually saw the beauty of God’s choice and they themselves now made that their first choice! For some others, they may have protested at first but with time, God revealed more about the other person to them and they then were very happy to court and marry that person.
I hope these analogies have really cleared this up for you and given you a deeper revelation and meaning into the process of picking your future spouse. I also pray that you now fully understand the balance and the process of picking a spouse and will let God help and lead you. Be willing to hear from God, be prayerful at every point and always be open to God. You will not make a mistake in your choice but I decree that God will reserve His best for you and whoever you court and marry will be a humble, God fearing servant of God who will love and cherish you and you will have the marriage of your dreams! Amen! God bless you all.