How are you enjoying your Saturday? I am sure most of you are out having fun, spending time with your spouses, children and friends! Enjoy, my friends; life is short! Today is the concluding episode of the series; “Men and Infidelity” and I must admit I decided to leave this to very last because it certainly is the hardest, most difficult, heart wrenching one to write because this if addressing the victims- married women.
If you are in a marriage and your husband has been unfaithful to you, I sincerely sympathise with you. I could give you a whole list of “should-haves and could-haves” but I will save you the agony. If your husband was unfaithful, remorseful and is now repentant: I would say you should ask God for the grace to forgive him. Ask God to heal you of such hurt and to restore your marriage. The two of you should undertake STD/HIV tests: just to ensure that everything is okay. Your husband has to give his life to Christ and genuinely form a relationship with God. The two of you should pray together daily, serve in Church, attend Sunday and Wednesday service and join the marriage ministry for married couples. Make sure that God is the centre of your relationship. I understand that it may take time to rebuild trust but remember that God asks us to forgive and even when we sin against Him and repent, He forgives us and gives us a clean slate. Do the same with him but explain that it will take time to rebuild your intimacy; he should be understanding and compliant. The two of you should agree that he make a concerted effort to rebuild trust by being very open about his feelings, emotions, work and friends.
It is important that you discuss his reason for cheating; was he bored? Did he get too close to the woman and then fell into temptation? Or is it because you have been spending too much time with the children? Is it the late nights with the secretary or the constant nightclub crawling? Whatever it is needs to be addressed and cut off! If the problem was unholy outings or affiliations, he must cut off all contact with those parties! Amen. While you rebuild trust, you may not be open to the usual sex until you can trust him; explain this to him. You may have to refrain from sex altogether or limit it to protected sex until the trust is rebuilt, discuss this and pray about it. The most important thing is to pray and use wisdom. Don’t subject yourself to any harm: so you must be wise
As a married woman, take care of your physical appearance! I will never say it was your fault he cheated; of course not but ensure your countenance is as good as it can be, get your hair and nails done, don’t dress like a grandmother neither should you look like one! Go to the gym, run, exercise and eat healthy! Once the trust is rebuilt, the two of you should spend time together, romantic weekends and getaways, cook special meals for him, wear sexy lingerie and in accordance with the word in Proverbs 5:19; satisfy your husband at all times! Keep things in the bedroom spicy and interesting! Like my Pastor said, if a man is fed till capacity at home, he won’t eat outside of the home; especially knowing that there’ll be more waiting for him at home. Simple! Keep praying together and even when you are alone pray for him, anoint him with oil, walk around your home praying over your matrimonial home, anoint your house and decree that there shall be no more unfaithfulness; AMEN! Keep praying to God, keep praying together.
On the unfortunate incident that you married a serial cheat who seems not to be remorseful or willing to stop. You may have to cease all sexual activity with him to protect yourself from STDs. Report the infidelity to someone he respects and to a trusted Pastor, keep praying and try to seek counsel together! If he is willing to change, then work together with the Pastors and with the points above, if however he is totally adamant on cheating, you will have to decide whether you will stay married to him, separate or divorce. What I would advise is a total stop to sexual activity and resume fervent prayers; spend your time asking God to change his heart, just keep having faith in God and praying for your husband. Focus your energy on serving God, raising your children and developing your career/business. You need to make sure you are busy and spending your time doing something worthwhile but just keep praising God and praying. You will be surprised what prayer can do, one day the Holy Spirit will surely change his heart and he will give his life to Christ and come back to his home. Amen.
The Bible however permits divorce on the grounds of adultery so if you find that you can’t forgive him and can’t continue or if your husband seems to have become a total monstrosity and you sincerely feel that is the best option, the Bible says you are free to do so.
I just pray today for every marriage that is being clouded by this spirit of infidelity, may the Lord destroy and rebuke every such spirit and restore peace, commitment and faithfulness to your marriage. May the Lord give every person who has fallen into infidelity, a new and repentant spirit and help them to see their spouses as their one and only! I pray that no matter what happened in the past, in this month of August, the Lord will usher all such marriages into a new beginning of true love, greatness, joy, mercy, unity and faithfulness! May the Lord smile upon you this month and give you a new song, may the Lord turn your mourning into dancing again. May your marriage have a complete divine transformation and now become a testimony of God’s divine greatness and favour.
To all the singles, may the Lord lead and direct you to the right and Godly spouses; may you never have cause to regret or weep in your matrimonial home! May you never experience sorrow, abuse or infidelity in your homes. May your marriages be filled with love, joy, commitment, God’s goodness and mercy. AMEN!
You can have the marriage of your dreams; just ask Him; the author and creator of marriage! God bless you all
There has been a recent influx of news and tragic stories of traumatic marriages to men of abuse and serial infidelity. These stories have spread very wide and fast and though they are a true and current picture of the state of many marriages, I ask you all to please be aware that; those are not examples of what a good marriage should be and that was Never God’s vision or idea of marriage. Be aware that these things do happen but also be sure and believe that happy, healthy and lasting marriages do exist and not all mean are the same; they don’t all cheat or beat their wives.
This is a call for every happily married couple in the house to send us your story; we would love you to tell us how you have made it this far. We would especially love to hear from the men who have been married for years and never cheated or beaten their wives. We would love to hear from you and share your story with the readers, so they can be encouraged and aware that not all men are the same and they can indeed marry a great and Godly man. Please be very honest and sincere about everything: we understand that life and of course marriage has its challenges and temptations but tell us how you have lived through the challenges and stayed faithful! We would love to hear your testimony. You don’t need to send in your name or anything about your identity. Please just post a comment or send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org