Becoming an invaluable asset to God.

Good Evening everyone,

How are we all doing today? Today’s message is going to be short and precise but I pray that the Lord in His infinite wisdom and mercy will give you understanding from above and your life will never remain the same. Amen.

Today has been a great day! I woke up at about 7am, got ready and dressed and went off to Daystar Christian Centre. The service/sermon was absolutely phenomenal and it really touched me. During the sermon, I just began to ponder- “why am I on this earth?” It’s just not to get dressed on Sundays, get rich or buy clothes! God has a reason for me being alive today and I better be doing what it is He has destined me to be, otherwise I really am of no use to Him. Does somebody remember when David said to God- “What will you gaine if I die, if I sink into the grave?  Can my dust praise you? Can it tell of your faithfulness?”- Psalms 30:9 

Our Father loves Praise and He inhabits the praises of His people- Psalms 22:3. David being dead was of no use to Him! David praised the Lord so much that the Lord singled him out as a praise warrior. So much so that he could boldly say that to God and guess what? The Lord listened and answered! What are you doing for God? What are you contributing to Heaven that will make the Heavens miss you if you were dead or ill? God forbid you die and a void isn’t left. If I am sick today (God forbid) or unable to do as I usually do, I want God to say- wow, I miss that daughter of mine. Angels, deliver healing to her, send finances her way because Heaven is feeling her absence!

Why don’t you love God and be totally committed to Him, serving Him and carrying out your purpose; so that if you’re crippled, Heaven will know and notice. Amen! If you are not doing anything for the Lord and His people, of what use are you? If you win souls for the Lord in a very rampant manner, do you know you are almost indispensable to the Lord? God knows if you die and go to Heaven, you can’t win souls on earth anymore and as a result He will keep you alive; Amen! Do you know that if my income is £10,000 a month and I faithfully give £9,000 towards the Church every single month, the Lord will ensure that I am NEVER poor. Amen. Because if I lack, my giving will stop. The Lord will even increase my income beyond that because as a result, my giving will also increase. So, if your income is presently £1000 a month and even your 10% mandatory tithe of only £100, you fail to pay, why would the Lord bring you financial prosperity? Of what benefit would it be to Him? Please ask yourself that. But when you are faithful and committed to your giving, you need not ask the Lord for increase, He Himself will do it even without your petition.

Become invaluable to God! Ask the Lord why He put you on this earth. Is it to be a Kingdom financier? An evangelist? A praise leader? What is it?

Do you know that there are some people in this World and I say it with all humility and faith! There are some people in this world who can NEVER be sick because it will not pay Heaven for them to be ill. Such people spend their every minute working hard to make money to finance Kingdom projects and every leisure time they have is spent on missionary projects, building Churches, witnessing for Christ. God will never let them lay in a sick bed because they are of true value to Him! Make yourself a value to Christ and His Kingdom. If you are even ill for a day, let the Heavens feel it and immediately act on your behalf.

That is my wish and my dream, that my heart and my life will be so wrapped up in Christ and His Kingdom that the Lord will keep me alive to do His will. The Lord will never keep me in a sick bed or jobless because He knows that my time, energy and resources are of benefit to His people. Today, I say to my King, my Father that I appreciate You, I love You, I thank You and Honour You! Above all things, not my will but Your’s. Do with me what you would have me do. I want to be an asset to You and Your people, thank You Lord!

POZ family, I sincerely love and appreciate you all and I thank you for all your kind words, prayers and love. I pray that you will all find your calling, your gift, your talent and faithfully commit to serving the Lord. I pray that you will be so invaluable and useful to God and His people that the Lord will never allow the hand of sickness, poverty or unemployment to hit you. May the Lord trust you with even His most valuable treasures and resources, may you continue to do His will and exceed all expectations and dreams spiritually, maritally and financially. I pray that when the Lord finally calls you, you would have reached a ripe old age with children, grand children, great grand children and even great great grand children who would continue your work and spread it beyond borders! I pray that when you go, the Lord will say “well done”, the angels and the 24 elders will give you a huge round of applause and say “welcome champion” and may the people on earth celebrate you when you go but they will surely miss you and proclaim that a star is gone! Amen!

Remember, you must always be in pursuit of God, discovering purpose, maximising potential and impacting lives! Amen! God bless you all.

 

 

 

 

Updates

 

Good Afternoon all, 

 

 

 

I have missed you so much; these last few days have felt so empty without blogging. I arrived in Lagos, Nigeria on Wednesday Morning and I haven’t had any internet access since then. I pray to sort it out over the weekend so I can resume blogging on Monday. Unfortunately, even then, I will have to blog from my ipad. But we thank God! I have not neglected you and I haven’t given up on blogging or POZ; by His Grace, I never will. Amen. Please bear with me. 

 

 

 

I’m in Lagos for three weeks helping out with the wedding preparations and sorting out my relocation. It’s really a huge heap of work especially as I’m still working on my dissertation but I know that God is forever in control! Amen! Lagos has been great so far; being with family is a gift and seeing my sister prepare for her marriage/wedding has been a huge blessing! God is truly faithful! 

 

 

 

I just wanted to let you all know that I have not forsaken this blog; I think about it and you all everyday! I’m actually using my phone to post this message and if it goes well, I will try my hardest to blog from my phone until I get the internet up and running! Amen! 

 

 

 

So, how has life been? What have you been up to? Would love to hear from you. As for comments, I have to use a computer or Ipad to respond to those. Please bear with me. 

 

 

 

Last week, I read the story of a young lady who had been missing for about a month! It was very sad to read but I just prayed that she would be returned safely! Unfortunately, all hope was shattered when I read that she had travelled to Lagos on a business trip and was picked up at the airport by some gentlemen she befriended on facebook, they took her to a Hotel were they robbed her of all her money and belongings and killed her! This was a Post Graduate student at the Nasarawa State University Nigeria. She was only 24 years old and now she’s gone! May her soul rest in perfect peace! Father please grant her family, friends and loved ones the strength, grace and fortitude to bear such a major loss! I pray for those who murdered her that their life in prison will not be a waste but they will encounter You and see the gravity of their offences (apparently this was their 6th victim). I pray they will repent from their evil ways and turn to you! Lord, I also use this opportunity to pray for other families that have been through such; please heal their wounds Lord! 

 

 

 

Lord, I commit the POZ family into your hands, I soak and saturate them with the Blood of Jesus, Father I pray that for us, our families and loved ones, we will never encounter such pain or death! I pray we will never fall into the traps of evil ones but Lord, You will forever guide and protect us! You will give us a strong spirit of discernment never to put our trust in humans; let alone those with evil motives! Father, be with us and guide us! I pray You preserve, protect and guide us all and the story they will tell of us is a story of testimony, breakthrough and prominence! There will never be a story of our downfall or death, rather stories of our healing, breakthrough and success shall go viral! Amen! 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank You Father for You are forever faithful and we will forever praise Your Holy Name! 

 

 

 

Rest in perfect peace Cynthia Udoka Osokogu! I pray the angels and the 24 elders have welcomed you with open arms! 

 

 

 

God bless you all! 

 

 

 

 

Celebrating Marriage Testimonies….finale

Good Morning all,

Hoping you had a great and fun filled weekend; firstly I must apologise for my absence over the weekend. My sister(the bride) arrived from Lagos on Friday evening and first thing on Saturday, we had to rush out to all her dress appointments; it was so tiring but we thank God! Yesterday, we had our last appointment and she picked the dress! Paid! Very happy for her, after which we proceeded to the RCCG Jesus House Annual Summer Picnic; which I helped to organise; it was an absolutely beautiful day and we bless God because it gave us an opportunity to open up our hearts to people we wouldn’t necessarily encounter and it was a great day and time to spread the love and Word of God! An absolute success in the end; thank You Father! Tomorrow, I’m off to Nigeria for a few weeks; to sort out some things regarding my relocation and to help out with the wedding planning; may the Lord be with us.

As you know, last week was the celebration of marriage week but I promised to share one last story with you! This is the story of a couple who had trials and tribulations in their marriage but by God’s divine orchestration, they found God and as they say, the rest is history! It is a really inspiring story of how God can change a person and by extension transform a marriage if both parties submit to Him and His will.

 

Introduction

After being separated several times, everything was finally going much better for Tony and Ellyn – except for the great big hole in their hearts that nothing seemed to fill. Separately they found what they needed to fill the hole, together they found completion as a married couple. This is their true story of a marriage made whole and two hearts fulfilled.

A Couple’s Completion – From Emptiness to Fulfillment

After being separated several times, everything was finally going much better for Tony and Ellyn. They were moving ahead with their lives. Being previously married for nineteen years and then marrying Tony three months after her divorce, Ellyn had wondered if she had done the right thing by remarrying so quickly. But after their third time separated, she knew that she could not live without him. They didn’t know what kept drawing them back together, but they were happier now, and their lives seemed to be settling down.A new career was blooming for Ellyn and Tony’s commercial glass business was growing. Many of the material things they had always desired became a reality. Their relationship had taken a turn for the better. They were looking forward to a great future together. Yes, everything was going much better. Except for one thing – there was a great big hole in their hearts that nothing seemed to fill.

Life Had Become Boring

They were thirsty for something but couldn’t put their finger on it. Ellyn even tried several self-help books and Yoga. Tony plunged into fresh water fishing and became an avid tournament fisherman. All of the “stuff” and all of the activities were just not filling that hole in their hearts. They started to think that this was all there was to life – looking toward the goal, reaching it and starting with another goal. Life had become boring, and there seemed to be no end to the vicious cycle, no hope.

On the outside, Tony and Ellyn appeared very happy. But on the inside, they were becoming desperate. To make matters worse, they did not speak of their despair with each other.

One day, a different glass contractor asked Tony to help him with some extra work. During the first week, Tony came home and told Ellyn that this man was really strange. He was mixing his faith in God with his business, and frankly, it was making Tony a little uncomfortable. In fact, this man kept a Bible on his desk and referred to it often.

Tony’s background was Catholic, and he had forgotten most of his religion due to his drug-filled teenage years. Tony had turned his life around from the drugs but really didn’t want anything to do with religion. He didn’t understand some of the things the contractor was talking about, but he listened anyway. When Tony would relate these things to Ellyn, with her minimal Lutheran background, she suggested that if he was that uncomfortable, he should quit and move on. But Tony kept the job and also kept telling Ellyn everything the contractor said.

Something Was Changing

What neither of them knew was that the Lord was working on their hearts – on that big hole. Too embarrassed to tell each other that a change was happening, they avoided any conversation about the truth that the contractor was speaking. Once in awhile, Tony would pick up an old Bible. Neither of them could remember where they had gotten it. Just before they went to sleep at night, he would read some of the things that the contractor had talked to him about and then read them to Ellyn. They would say good night and both lay awake, mulling over the Word, fearful that something was changing in their hearts, and that the other would never understand.

And then it happened. One day, Tony was listening to a Christian station while driving his truck, and the speaker on the radio gave an invitation to follow Christ. Tony knew it was time and pulled over on the side of the road. It was there that Tony gave his life to the Lord. He cried and knew the hole in his heart had just been filled with the Holy Spirit.

A couple of hours later, Ellyn was in her office reading an email from a friend. It was a chain letter that she usually would delete before reading. But this one was about God and His love. She knew it was time, and she asked Jesus in her life. She cried and knew that the hole in her heart was filled.

They did not call each other. In fact, they both became very nervous about how they were going to tell the other what had happened. Their usual Friday night ritual was to meet at a local restaurant. Each pulled up in the parking lot, and prayed that God would give them the words to explain. When Ellyn walked up to Tony’s truck, she told him that she had something very important to tell him. But Tony said he had something to tell her, and it had to be more important than what she had to say. They decided to go inside and talk.After ordering, Tony went first and told Ellyn he had given his life to the Lord, right there on Park Blvd. He waited for her to laugh or give him a blank stare. Instead, she had a big tear running down her face. She told him that she had done the same at the office. By now they were both dabbing their eyes and blowing their noses. When the waitress came to the table she was very sympathetic and asked if someone had died. They responded, “Yes, we did!”

They Could Not Get Enough

The next day, they went out and bought new Bibles. They could not get enough of the Word. They told Tony’s contractor friend what had happened, and he was ecstatic. But something was missing. They needed to find a church and be around other Christians. They really needed to learn what to do next.

After a few weeks of discussing churches, they decided they didn’t want to look at Catholic or Lutheran denominations. They wanted something different. One day, Tony was given a job to install a wall of mirrors at a house in St. Petersburg. He was invited inside by the owner and noticed there were no personal items around. The house seemed void except for a few pieces of furniture. When he asked the owner, Steve, if he had just moved in, he said, “No.” He had lived there for several years. Then Steve asked Tony what was new in his life. Tony told Steve the incredible story of how he and Ellyn had found the Lord. Steve was excited and asked if they had found a church yet. When Tony said “No,” Steve started to tell him about a small church meeting in a warehouse and how the pastor was the drummer in the band. Steve told Tony he taught in the Children’s Ministry, and everyone knew him. Tony said they would try it out.

So the next Sunday, they went to Calvary Chapel. It felt weird to them, since it was situated in a warehouse. There was a stage with rock and roll instruments and everyone was dressed in blue jeans. But they wanted something different, so they sat and waited for the service to start. Everyone was very friendly, introduced themselves and shook their hands. Then the music started. They both found themselves clapping and smiling, something they had never done in their previous churches. The pastor was the drummer and the message was exactly what they were looking for – truth in its purest form, direct from the Bible.

Getting into the car after the service, Tony and Ellyn looked at each other. Ellyn told Tony she really liked it, and he said he really liked it, too. But Tony was concerned. He thought it was a little rude that people kept trying to ask questions with their hands up during the worship! Ellyn agreed it seemed a bit strange.

Well, they kept going every Sunday, and the hole in their hearts just kept filling up. Finally they understood that people were praising the Lord, not trying to ask questions. They too started lifting their hands in praise! They inquired about Steve but were told there was no Steve in the Children’s Ministry. They wanted to thank Steve for leading them to Calvary. Tony went back to the contractor who had given him the job at Steve’s house to look up the address on the invoice. But they could not find the invoice. Tony went back to the neighborhood to locate the house; but all the houses looked the same, and he could not remember which one it was. They could only wonder what happened to Steve. Deep inside they knew God had been instrumental through it all.

A New Mission in Life

Soon they started going to church on Wednesdays also. They drank in every word and started to grow, as they were fed through the teaching. Being around other Christians gave them good examples to follow, as they started to mature in their faith. They felt at home and were led to volunteer at the Missions Café. Tony went on his first mission trip three months later. God put a burden for missions in his heart, and after going on a trip together, God put missions in Ellyn’s heart, too.

Someday they feel God will lead them to the mission field full time. Waiting for God’s timing is not always easy. In the meantime, Tony just completed his twenty-second short-term trip, and Ellyn has given up her corporate job to work in the church office as Missions Assistant and Office Manager. Thank the Lord that He never gave up on this couple – two people each with a big hole in their heart! Praise the Lord for filling up those holes with His love, grace and mercy!

 

That was an inspiring piece that just goes to show that with God, all things are possible. No matter how bad your marriage is, the Lord is ready and able to transform it if you submit to Him. I pray that for every marriage that is going through a storm right now, the Lord will calm that storm, He will part that red sea and give you victory! He shall bring healing, restoration and transformation to your marriage in Jesus’ Name. Amen. God bless you all! Have a great day!

 I know there are several comments and emails awaiting a response; please bear with me, I will tend to them this evening by God’s Grace.

Christian Marriage Testimonies

Good Morning all ye beautiful people,

How have you enjoyed your week so far? I hope you’re well and looking forward to the week? In continuing with the Celebration of Marriage Week, I would like to share the story of two couples I came across. The first being the story of two Christians who met and today their passion and vision is to serve Christ and lead people to Him.

The second is a bit far from the usual “Christian Fairytale” but it is so powerful and inspiring and I know many people may be in a similar position. The second couple met and married as unbelievers and there was so much war in their marriage but by God’s mercy and divine intervention, they found God at the same time and gave their lives to Christ and as they say, the rest is History, AMEN.  I will be sharing the story of the second couple with you tomorrow! God bless you all.

The story of John and Ellen Duncan

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jer 29:11)

It was a warm, beautiful day in São Paulo, Brazil, on March 16, 1996. The place was beautifully decorated. The music, the flowers, and the food were just perfect. Our families and friends were together for this important event. We gazed at each other as we said, “I do.”

I smile as I think of one of the most wonderful blessings that God has given me: the blessing of marriage. Just recently, as I thought of the blessing my husband, Bro. John, has been to me, the Lord took me back to a Friday night in 1991… That was the night I became faithful to my husband-to-be, not having met him yet. This faithfulness was not only physical, but also a faithfulness in heart and in eyes.

Laying Isaac on the Altar

I had only been saved for a little while when the Lord dealt with me. “Ellen, will you put your dating life on the altar?” This question haunted me for a little while, for I knew that He was asking me to trust Him with the question of marriage. Nevertheless, I had never heard of anyone doing such and did not know exactly how to go about doing it. Besides, all the other Christians I knew dated… However, I knew that God wanted to take me to a deeper walk with Him.

Certain verses started to get my attention as I sought the Lord. Verses such as,“…But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Mat. 6:33), “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” (Col. 3:2) “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6) Besides, “dating” is just not found anywhere in the Scriptures.

Finally, after much prayer, I made a covenant with the Lord, wrote it on paper, signed it, and prayed over it with my pastor’s wife. In this covenant I told the Lord that I would trust Him with my future mate, and that whatever time I would be spending with a boyfriend, I’d spend with God in prayer and in the Word instead. It would not have been enough for me to just give up dating, but it was imperative to replace that void with the Lord. I also told Him that if it was not His will that I’d ever marry, that I’d be willing to serve Him in whatever way He wanted, even if He wanted to send me as a single missionary to a hut in the middle of Africa, to be killed in a muslim country, or to just be a janitor in my local church. The only thing I asked of Him was that if it was His will that I ever married, He would let me know when my husband came.

The Lord Is My Shepherd: I Shall Not Want!

For the next 3½ years I had what was like honeymoon with the Lord as I delighted myself in Him. He kept pouring more and more of His presence in my life, teaching me out of the Scriptures, and visiting me in my devotions. I spentall my free time with the Lord. Words cannot describe the way I felt as God fulfilled all my longings to be married, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name.” (Isa 54:5). At one point, I was so satisfied that I even thought that maybe God wanted me to remain single. As time progressed though, He revealed to me that I would marry one day and that He was grooming me to be a helpmeet suitable for some godly man.

Young lady, What kind of man are you looking for in a husband? Are you looking for a godly man? And what kind of woman will a godly man be looking for in a wife? Of course, he will be looking for a godly woman! That is why it is so important for young people to completely consecrate themselves to the Lord while they are single. If they sow into the Spirit, one day they will be able to give their spouses a godly mate to share their lives with. A mate who will know how to get a hold of God in time of need, one who has the Word hid in his / her heart, and one who will not be tossed to and fro like the waves of the sea. Young lady, if you do not give yourself unreservedly to God, that godly young man may not recognize you when he comes!

Learning to Hear His Voice

We do not win the world by becoming more like the world. We win them bygetting so close to Jesus that He tells us what to say. Likewise, we do not find out who our spouses are by dating one here, another one there, trying this one, and trying that one. We find out who our spouses are by getting so close to Jesus that we learn to hear His voice accurately. The “dating game” leads todisappointment, confusion, hurt, and embarrassment. Some people marry and have hurts from past relationships that interfere with their service to God. I also know young people who played the “dating game” and who are now in the ministry, serving the Lord with all their hearts. However, it is always awkward when a certain evangelist comes to minister because he used to be the pastor’s wife’s boyfriend! This embarrassing situation could have been avoided if, instead of trying the “dating game,” the young people had gotten down on their knees and prayed for guidance and direction from the Lord. The Bible says that “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27). God wants you to marry the right person even more than you want it yourself!

Someone told us that a certain young lady married a young man who seemed to be a great guy but later turned out to be in awful sins, leading to a divorce. The comment was, “if she had dated him longer and spent more time with him, she would have found that he was not a good fellow!” However, we know that there have been marriages where a partner hid his / her sins for many years before the spouse ever found out about it! The solution is, that if she had spent more time with God (not with the young man) asking for direction, God would have told her not to do it! See, a sinner can fool everyone, but he can not fool God, and God will give us wisdom if we ask of Him (Jam 1:5). This is a promise. Oh, young people, how important it is for us to hear from God on this issue! Marriage is for a lifetime and once you exchange your marriage vows “until death do us part,”that is the right person for you.

Yes, God can work beautifully with couples who get saved after they are married, but why take the chance of missing God? Many lives and ministries have been destroyed or handicapped because of a bad marriage! Please seek the Lord and don’t trust in your feelings!

Lord, Teach Me to Number My Days

Think about the young men and women that spend hundreds of hours with each other, just to end with a breakup. Precious time has been wasted that will never come back. What if they had spent those hundreds of hours with the Lord, instead of spending them with someone that they are not even going to marry? Would that not have been more beneficial to their souls?

I have heard it said that dating makes you mature and causes you to grow as a person. For example, that it will help you be more patient, more selfless, more understanding, etc. The only problem with this thought is that Jesus did not need to date around to grow as a person, did He? No, He spent time with the Father. Why don’t we just do the same? It is by spending time with the Father that we are filled with His presence and the fruits of the Holy Spirit… “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Gal. 5:22-23)

During those 3½ years that I spent with the Lord in such a special way, Psalm 32:8 came alive to me: “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” Silly me, I just imagined a bouncing eyeball leading me by the hand. I asked, “Lord, how can You guide me with Your eye? Why is it not Your hand, or Your Word? This does not make sense. Why is it Your eye?” The Lord reminded me about when I was a little girl. All my dad had to do to make me obey was to “look” at me in a certain way. My dad was guiding me with his eye. In the same way, the Lord can guide us with His eye — the only “catch” is, that for you to know what He is saying with His eye, you must be beholding His face. The Lord was telling me that as I served Him with all my heart and sought His face (not His hand), when my husband came, He would guide me with His eye saying, “look over there, Ellen – there’s your husband!”

Adorned on the Inside

I was also very careful in all manner of conversation around the opposite sex. I am sometimes disturbed at the boldness of some young ladies towards the young men these days. The Bible is clear that the man is to be the head of the household, and, as the leader, he should be the first one to show interest. The Bible says that “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing” (Prov. 18:22), NOT“whoso findeth a husband.” Also, the word “shamefacedness” (1 Tim 2:9) means “to be bashful in the presence of the opposite sex.” The godly virgins in the Bible were adorned with a meek and quiet spirit. “And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel… And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.” (Gen. 24:64-65)

I wanted to be faithful to my husband-to-be before I ever met him. At times I would pray for him, for God’s will to come to pass in his life, and that God would keep him pure and holy, drawing him closer to the Lord. On a few occasions I wrote him letters addressed “To My Husband-to-be” where I shared all the things God had been doing in my life (I later gave Bro. John all those letters after our engagement). By the grace of God, I never became interested in anyone during that period of time because God had not showed him to me yet. I never let my eyes wander or my imaginations fly. See, I wanted to give my husband-to-be someone pure not only physically, but pure in motives, in consecration to God, and in eyes.

God is Faithful

In 1994 we were in a transitional time in our campus ministry at Auburn University, Alabama. Our Campus Pastor had just left and we were in need of a new pastor. As I was praying one afternoon, the name “John Duncan” came to my mind. I had never met “John Duncan” before but he had led devotions in a retreat I attended a couple of years back. I was somewhat puzzled by this unusual event because I did not remember him, but God brought his name of my remembrance. I felt like I must pray for John Duncan, that God would give him direction in life and open up doors of ministry for him.

Two weeks after this incident, a sister greeted me on campus and wanted to give me some good news. She said, “Ellen, have you heard? We have a new campus pastor!” I said, “Praise the Lord, that’s great! What’s his name?” She replied, “His name is John Duncan!” I screamed in excitement, “What??? Are you serious? I can’t believe it – I prayed for this man 2 weeks ago!”

At this point I did not know anything about Bro. John. He could have been a married man with kids, etc. I only assumed that it was a confirmation from God that “John Duncan” was indeed to be our pastor and was overjoyed that I heard from the Lord in prayer. Oh, how I wanted to be sensitive to His voice!

After a couple of weeks, Bro. John showed up on campus hauling everything he owned in his little Honda Civic. He was a godly man, 3 years older than me, and single. However, I would not even entertain the idea of a romance because: 1) God had not told me that he was the one yet and 2) Bro. John was my pastor. I did not want to get my heart involved first and later try to hear from God.

Much Carefulness is Needed

The Bible says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Prov. 4:23) One mistake people make is to get emotionally involved too soon. This makes it hard to hear from God. I have met many people who made an infatuated decision and came to be sorry for the rest of their lives. God tried to tell them again and again that they were not to marry someone, but because they wanted it so much, they were blinded and deaf to their parents’ warnings, their pastor’s warnings, their friends’ warnings, and shipwrecked their lives. The Bible says that the children of Israel “lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert.” The scary part is that God “…gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul.”(Psa 106:14-15) Oh, one should never come to God with a made-up mind, especially on this issue!!!

Running For God With All Our Might

I watched as Bro. John started to raise up a powerful group of young men on campus, who would do anything for the Lord. However, the girls’ side of the fellowship was lacking because of his inability to minister to the women. So Bro. John called me one day on the phone and asked me to lead a Bible Study with the young ladies on campus. Pretty soon, I was naturally doing for the girls the same things that he was doing for the young men.

Here I must recount the best nugget of wisdom that came from a pastor’s wife to John before we ever met. She told him, “Son, you just run for God. Run for God with all your might and do not worry about who you will marry. Just keep your eyes on Jesus. One day you will look next to you and you will find someone running alongside of you. That will be your wife.” This word was coming to pass in our lives without our awareness.

As time went on, I started to notice that many of my prayers on Bro. John’s behalf were answered immediately (God was trying to get my attention). I’d be praying for God to bless his finances not knowing the need and God would answer. I’d be praying for his health not knowing that he had been sick. Also, everything we laid our hands to do was blessed. We had opposite personalities and gifts, so we complemented each other very well. I started to notice how we worked well together. Soon I was asking, “Lord, is he the one? Could John be my husband-to-be?”

Thunder, Fire, Earthquake… And A Still, Small Voice

Some strange things started happening. For example, we had many people, both strangers and ministers that we respected, telling us (separately) that they thought we made a good team and saying that we should get married. Some of them were quite bold. However, neither John knew this was happening to me nor did I know that it was happening to him too! After a few months praying and watching all of this happen, it became clear to me that (yes!) he was my husband-to-be! Now I had to wait until God revealed it to John (waiting was the hard part), as I had no idea that God was working in his heart already. Praise God, He was honoring our covenant, when I asked Him to let me know when my husband came around!

Bro. John started to call me more often to ask me about the Bible Studies and we started spending more and more time on the telephone, even though we only lived a couple of blocks away.  This is a wonderful way to get to know someone — with a long phone line in between you.  During this time he let me know of his interest.

After much prayer and some struggle to find God’s perfect will, on January 23, 1996, Bro. John took me to “the bench” where he preached in the open-air on campus. There on the bench with emotion, we prayed together. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was more than ready and said a resounding “yes!”

Honor Your Father and Mother

John’s parents, aunts, and uncles had already met me before our engagement and were excited about our marriage. Our last test was to tell my parents. They are not Christians. What would they think if they found out that I was marrying a minister? This meant that their hope of ever having me come back to my home (in Brazil) would be extinguished. They had so carefully fixed my room while I was gone to college. They would never be able to be close to the grandchildren. They were not “gaining” a son, but they were truly “losing” their baby daughter. I asked the Lord that if it was His will, that He would speak to my lost parents and that they would give us their blessing.

It disturbs me to see young people disregard their parents’ and pastor’s warnings — especially if they are Christian parents! The 5th Commandment is to honor our parents. If either John’s parents or mine had a problem with our relationship, we would have at least postponed the marriage until God either changed their hearts or ours. See, God has given us to our parents for guidance and nourishment. It was my parents, though they are lost, who took care of me when I could not take care of myself. They fed me and invested their time, money, and love in my life. Though they were not perfect, yet I know that they loved me and God could speak through them (He spoke through a donkey). I only knew that it was RIGHT to have my dad walk me down the isle and give me away to my husband, who would now be my spiritual head. I also know that God could deal with my parents’ hearts, but it would be a miracle.

One godly woman told me of how that when any young man would call to talk to her, she would say, “please talk to my dad.” Also, when a young man wrote her a love letter, she handed it to her parents before ever opening the envelope. She wanted her parents to tell her what they thought of the young man first. Today, she is happily married to a pastor with no regrets. Oh, how I wish there were more young people like that!

When we called my parents and John asked my dad for my hand in marriage, all my dad (who is an Agnostic) could say was, “Ellen, this is the LORD, daughter. This is God’s will for you. I want you to know that you have, not only our permission, but you have our full blessings as you marry this young man and serve God together.” God was giving us green lights all the way – no red flags at all!

A Single Life of No Regrets

Some young people may stay single. We know people who have remained single for God and have accomplished many things that they never could have if they had a family, especially in the foreign mission field. If you do stay single, use your singleness for the glory of God! Others may not have the “gift” of being a celibate. These will find their fruitful ministry in marriage in a way that they never would had they stayed single. You just need to get down on your knees, pray, and ask the Lord what He would have for your life. We have all been single at one point in our lives, and whether this is a temporary or a permanent state, take advantage of your singleness and run for God!

I can look back during my single years and say that I have no regrets. I may now have less time to spend with God (as the Bible says in 1 Cor 7), but God has multiplied our efforts because we are in His will. One of my prayers was that if we could each reach 5 for God by ourselves, that God would let us reach 15+ when put together, thus multiplying our efforts. I have found my life to be more fruitful to the Lord after marriage than before.

How foolish the modern thought that “You Can Be Happy Though Married.”  Neither singleness nor marriage are necessary to happiness, but rather a contentment to be what God wants us to be and a commitment to give Him our whole being for His glory in whatever state we are. 

God Is the Best Match Maker

If there is a “perfect marriage,” I can testify that we have one (that does not mean that we don’t have different opinions. After all, we need others to keep us accountable and help us to see a different perspective). We are happily married, love each other more today than when we uttered “I do” and work together better than ever. I could never have picked someone better for me than Bro. John. I appreciate him so much. Only God knew my spiritual make-up and could have so perfectly arranged my marriage. The Bible says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psa. 37:4) We also have another advantage – we will never be able to say that we have married the wrong person, because of the way that God orchestrated it all.

Trust God

Some people say, “there are no eligible godly men where I live.” So? Is anything too hard for the Lord? I am from Brazil, Bro. John is from Marietta, Georgia, and we met in Alabama. We were married at 27 and 25 years-old. (If I had to wait longer I’d be happily serving the Lord until His perfect timing for a perfect union). A friend of ours was 26 when she met her husband. There were no young, godly men in her little town in Mississippi. However, she went to California, where she met a 30 year-old Associate Pastor from Virginia. This couple married with a wonderful testimony of never being alone, hugging, kissing, or even holding hands before marriage (do you ever wonder why the pastor says, “NOW you may kiss the bride?”).

Young people, as you read this, please don’t think our story is odd. There are at least 8 other couples we personally know (in the U.S.) that gave up the “dating game” and are now happily married, serving the Lord. All of these couples are involved in the ministry today. The one thing that they all have in common is that God went the extra mile in every case, giving each a wonderful testimony of His faithfulness. Wouldn’t you like to have a testimony to tell your children and grandchildren?

In countries like the Ukraine, the young men and the young women do not hang out together alone. The men sit on one side of the church, while the women sit on the other. Flirting is just not something they do. When a young man is old enough to be married, he prays about who to marry. When he has an answer, this young man will take it to his pastor / parents. They will then pray. If they feel like it’s from the Lord, they go to the girl’s parents and they will all pray. If they still feel like it is of the Lord, they will finally tell the girl and ask her to pray about it. If she feels like it is God’s will, then they will marry. The result of this: not one baby born out of wedlock and not one divorce in all the churches that we have worked with.

Please do not settle for second best in this matter. You would be better off being alone than with the wrong crowd. Please be patient, for in His time He will bring His will to pass in your life.

“And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”
Isaiah 30:21

John’s account

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

I appreciate now more than ever how my wife committed herself to the Lord before we were married.

When I met Sis. Ellen she struck me as the most spiritually mature young lady that I had ever met. She was not “boycrazy,” but a solid, focused Christian. I was most impressed with the power of her prayer life, but she also was a very bold witness for God. Sis. Ellen would not tell me but I would find out about her shutting herself away in her apartment for 14 days at a time to pray and fast, to do nothing but seek God during her vacation. This attracted me as a man of God. I thought she was physically beautiful, but I knew that I needed somebody who was primarily spiritually strong because of what God had for me to do. I saw that marrying her would be a great, incredibly powerful enhancement of who I could be as a man of God. There were other girls that were not attractive to me because they were “boycrazy” and spiritual milk toast.

My wife did not have to go through a spiritual boot camp to learn how to pray after we went on the mission field. My wife learned to pray, fast and live a godly life without me, so now I can trust her and have complete confidence in her even when I’m gone. Sometimes I go overseas without her and I do not worry one bit about her spiritual state or her faithfulness to me.

Since we’ve gotten married, we have lived what some would consider a real walk of faith and self sacrifice but my wife hasn’t complained about our living circumstances. We had a nice 3 bedroom home but we left all to live in a 19 foot RV when we went out full time. This was a God-given dream of mine but not usually the ideal situation most women would want to get into.

It’s been a joy living with someone that I know the Lord has prepared to labor with me. She is just perfect for me, and the Lord knows best for you. If you will let God have you totally He will show you His plan for your life. Trust in God.

 

Thank God for such a wonderful and glorious couple who have now been married for sixteen glorious years and not a single regret; may that be our portion and testimony in Jesus’ Name! I pray that this has touched someone and by God’s Grace will give you the faith and confidence to trust in the Lord and wait on Him. Amen. Remember, it is the Celebration of Marriage Week, appreciate your spouse today! Tune in tomorrow for the testimony of the other couple.Have a lovely weekend.  God bless you all. Amen.

Sex and Marriage

Good Morning all,

How has your week been? I truly hope you’re enjoying it and joining us to celebrate the beautiful institution of marriage! Remember to show love and appreciation to your spouse everyday of this week, reverence and romance them! Plan a huge surprise for them, just show them how happy you are to have them! Forget about the argument you had last week, forgive them and move on! It’s the Celebration of Marriage Week, celebrate your spouse! Remember those lonely nights praying for a spouse, God has answered your prayer; so be thankful! Singles, I hope you’ve been praying earnestly and preparing yourselves? Today, I’ll be talking to the married couples about sex; these are excerpts from Mike & Wanda’s articles and I pray it will bless you. [Please note that sex is designed to be enjoyed by husband and wife; not courting or engaged couples, not singles]

The time has come for us as believers to change our distorted image of sex. God created sex, but over the years some Christians have come to view sex as something invented by the world. Well, here’s a news flash for you, Hugh Hefner did not invent sex! God Almighty did, and there’s nothing nasty or dirty about it.

Unfortunately, some Christian women feel that sex is their wifely duty rather than something to be enjoyed by both she and her husband. When you think about it, it’s an insult to God, to look upon something He created and fail to see the beauty in it or cherish it as a gift.

Sex between a husband and his wife is not just physical, it’s emotional, and it’s spiritual. The word of God describes it as a man and a woman becoming one flesh. But unfortunately, some of us have become so “heavenly bound” that we are simply no earthly good. In other words, we are so focused on getting to heaven that we forget we have a life to live here on earth. Not just tolerating life, but living life to the absolute fullest.

After all, your marriage is a reflection of the marriage between Christ and the church. And guess what? Christ is passionate about you! So get passionate about your spouse. If you don’t know how to make this change then pray and ask God to renew your heart and mind in this area. After that, we suggest you educate yourself. Go out and get all the books you can on this subject and read until you become a “sexpert”. Now listen, we’re not suggesting you go out and buy porn, or tasteless books that dishonor God.

There are plenty of Christian books that have been written on this topic, so you should have no problem finding Godly material.

Now, take it one step further by planning a time to sit down with your spouse and read the material together. This little gesture will have sparks flying.

If you have been slacking in this area of your marriage, we encourage you to make immediate changes. Be deliberate about getting the spice back into your sex life. Apologize to your mate for treating this aspect of your marriage as drudgery. Finally, repent to your creator for not appreciating his beautiful gift and ask him to continue renewing you in this area.

Believe us, your new attitude will be a breath of fresh air to your spouse.

Sex and Marriage according to the will of God.

Okay, we’re going to answer all of your questions about oral sex, anal sex, threesomes, and a few others.

But first we feel compelled to give a word of caution to our brothers and sisters who have been searching the internet for information about marriage and sex.

As we began researching the topic of Christian sex and marriage, we were appalled at the amount of misinformation that saturated the internet.

We found sites that condoned threesomes in Christian marriage, and anal sex for single Christians. My friend, these are clearly acts of adultery and fornication.

Our advice is to test all information you find by comparing it to the word of God. If it does not agree with God’s word, then do not receive it as the truth!

We are going to tell you what the Bible says about sex and present it to you in a tasteful manner.

We believe the information we have chosen will allow you to experience sex in a way that honors yourself, your spouse, and God.

Remember, sex in Christian marriage is not for your enjoyment alone, it’s suppose to be enjoyable for both you and your spouse. And like everything else in your life, it should never dishonor God.

So, if you or your spouse feels dirty, disrespected, or degraded after sex then something is drastically wrong in your bedroom.

Does that mean you can only have sex missionary style, while wearing a priestly robe, and holding onto your Bible? I hope not, because if that’s the case, I think we’re all in deep trouble . Ready to get started? Then let’s begin…

Sexual intimacy in marriage is sacred, beautiful, and good. It is the deepest level of intimacy you and your spouse can share.

In fact, making love is such an intense bonding experience that the Bible refers to it as “becoming one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

But no matter how long you’ve been married, you’re likely at some point to experience sexual dissatisfaction. I know we did. We were more tolerant with our sex life than we were satisfied.

What was our problem? Michael’s sex drive was comparable to that of a Lamborghini and mine was more like a Volkswagon Beetle .

In other words, his sex drive was high and my sex drive was low. As you can probably imagine, this was a sore spot between us prior to finding a resolution.

While our past sex issue is common among married couples, there are other reasons why sexual intimacy in marriage can suffer. Those reasons include having unresolved marital problems, not making sex a priority, and simply becoming bored with the same old routine.

If any of these problems occur, you may find yourself stuck in what we call “The Sex After Marriage Rut.” The good news is that this “rut” can inspire you to make things better. The bad news is that if you ignore it, it can become a catalyst for bigger problems. We call those bigger problems covenant killers. The reason we call them covenant killers is because they have the potential to destroy a marriage.

Covenant killers that can manifest when sexual intimacy in marriage is not healthy:

• Emotional Disconnect
• Lust
• Feelings of Resentment
• Feelings of Rejection
• Infidelity and
• Pornography

The fact is, God ordained sexual intercourse as a way to foster unity in marriage, which means it has the power to create intense emotional and spiritual bonds between you and your spouse. But sex is so intense that it also has the power to cause a complete melt-down of a marital relationship.

How to avoid covenant killers and keep sexual intimacy in marriage healthy…

1. Understand Your Differences

Understand that God created men and women differently where sex is concerned. Your wife is not unusual when compared to other women, and neither is your husband — The two of you are just different.

2. Don’t Be Selfish

Get out of the “It’s all about me” mentality and begin to place the needs of your spouse above your own.

3. Forgive Past Sins

Resolve any lingering issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with properly.

Certainly, that’s not all there is to it, but it is a good place to start. By doing these three things, you will experience a true surrendering to Christ which will lead you to that mysterious, but beautiful place of “Becoming one flesh” in Christian lovemaking.

How to Spice Up Sex in Christian Marriage

How to spice up sex in Christian marriage with three easy suggestions. Some couples slip into a “rut” because they have no idea what to do. Others are confused about what’s permissible in the Christian bedroom.

But it’s not that complicated. In fact, these quick tips are proof that spicing up your sex life is not complicated at all.

What it all boils down to is simply breaking your normal routine. You know those things you do everytime the two of you make love? Take a risk and do something different.

3 Tips for How to Spice up Sex:

1. Change the Location

If making love in the bedroom is your normal routine, then try making love in a different room. For instance, try making love on the kitchen floor or in the dining room. The change of scenery will stimulate your senses and add a fresh excitment to the air.

2. Change the Time

Many couples are in the habit of making love at night before going to bed. But is there a law against having sex in the morning or mid afternoon? Here’s an idea; plan a mid week lunch date with your spouse and make love before returning back to work.

3. Accessorize Your Lovemaking

Ladies, you accessorize everything else! Why not add a few accessories to your lovemaking? Try incorporating lotions, oils, sexy lingerie to heat things up a little.

There are hundreds of other things you can try. But start with these small ideas first to see how your spouse responds. If he or she responds favorably, then continue researching how to have great sex and gradually incorporate what you learn into your lovemaking.

Sex in the Bible: What’s Permissable in Your Bedroom?

Sex in the Bible. A candid conversation about what is and is not permissable in the Christian bedroom.

Like many Christian couples, Michael and I were clueless when it came to knowing what was and was not okay in our bedroom.

For us, it was a matter of praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. For you, we have made it easier.

This page is divided into three parts;
In Part 1, we give you a list of sexual acts that the Bible speaks against.

In Part 2, you’ll learn seven easy principles for determining whether a sexual act is wrong or not.

And in Part 3, we put these seven principles into action by giving you two practical examples.

Scriptures on sex in the Bible

Adultery: This is sex with someone other than your spouse. In Biblical times, adultery was punishable by stoning. In the New Testament Jesus gives adultery a whole new definition by saying that a married man who lusts in his heart for another woman is in fact guilty of adultery. See Matthew 5:28.

Fornication: The word comes from the Greek word porneia and means “unclean”. This is when you engage in sex outside of the covenant of marriage. However, in the Bible, this word has been used when referring to adultery, sex with a prostitute, and sex with your stepmother. See 1 Corinthians 5:1, 6:13,15-16, 7:2; Matthew 5:32; and 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

Homosexuality: The Word of God says that it is detestable for a man to have sex with another man and a woman to have sex with another woman. See Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.

Incest: Sex with a relative or family member. See Leviticus 18:7-18; 20:11-21.

Lustful Passions: This refers to out of control lust for a person other than your marriage partner. Also, remember that this now equates to adultery according to Jesus. See Mark 7:21-22; Ephesians 4:19; and Matthew 5:28.

Prostitution: Paying for sex. See Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, and Proverbs 7:4-27.

Beastialty: Sex with an animal. See Leviticus 18:23

Rape: Forced sex without consent. See Deuteronomy 22:25,28

That’s it, but does that mean everything else is permissible? No, it doesn’t. So, how do you know for sure what is permissible in the Christian bedroom? Simply match it up with the Word of God and see how it compares.

sex in the bible

7 Biblical principles you can use as a guide:

The next time you have a question about a particular sex act, just use these seven principles to help you make a Godly decision.

• Sex should only be between a husband and his wife. Matthew 19:4-5
• Sex should always be God honoring and never bring harm, pain, or shame to your spouse. Ephesians 5:29
• You should not look at others with lust. Matthew 5:28
• You should not persuade your spouse to do something that she or he believes is sinful. Romans 14:1,14
• You should never imitate the sinful world. Romans 12:2
• You should never withhold sex from your spouse unless it is by mutual consent.
  1 Corinthians 7:5
• You should not be addicted to or controlled by anything other than the Holy Spirit.
  1 Corinthians 10:12, 10:23

2 Practical Examples

1. Anal Sex and the Bible – Are there any Scriptures that speak against it? No. Does it violate any of the seven principles? Yes — principle number two. Anal sex can cause pain, scarring, and feelings of shame. With that being said, we don’t believe anal sex is God honoring in the Christian bedroom. 

2. Oral Sex in the Bible – Are there Scriptures that prohibit oral sex? No. There are actually Scriptures that describe oral sex between Solomon and his wife. However, if your spouse is not in agreement with this, you should not force the issue. This would violate principle number four.

8 Myths about Sex

Are your ready to get rid of all those sex myths you’ve been holding onto?

Good, then take a look at the following list. If any of these untruths have been creeping into your bedroom why not make a comittment today to change your thinking.

 

Sex Myth #1 My spouse should know how to please me sexually. This is false. But many of us behave as if it’s true. We make love to our spouses day after day, and month after month without ever sharing what we like and dislike. For some odd reason we believe our mates have the ability to read our minds.

Sorry to disappoint you beloved but as wonderful as he or she is, the fact is your spouse is not omnicient. If you don’t tell them what feels good or bad to you sexually, then they will never know. And you will constantly be frustrated.

Sex Myth #2 The husband should always be the aggressor of sex. This is false. Woman have been taught that when it comes to sex, they should be domisile. But believe it or not, a husband needs to feel desired by his wife. If you as the wife don’t show your husband that he’s desirable, it will without a doubt affect his ego. When this happens, it’s only a matter of time before the enemy uses this to cause division.

Sex Myth #3 Sex is not important in Christian marriage. This is not true. Physical intimacy is a vital part of the marriage covenant for believers and non-believers. While it’s not the most important part of your relationship, it does require your time and attention.

Sex Myth #4 Christians should not experiment in the bedroom. This is definitely a big fat myth! How else are you going to keep things from getting hum drum? In order to keep it exciting, you absolutely must try different things from time to time. But this should be done tastefully in a way that does not dishonor your spouse or God.

 

Sex Myth #5 Married couples should have sex several times a week. Every marriage is different, therefore you can’t make such a general statement. In other words, there’s no rule book dictating how often you’re suppose to have sex. It’s important that the two of you learn and establish your own sexual rythm; don’t compare yourself to other couples.

Sex Myth #6 The husband is the boss in the bedroom, and so the wife must submit to whatever he wants to do. Okay, while it is true that the wife is subject to her husband, the Bible also says that they are to submit one to the other. It also says that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church which should mean that the husband is not going to force his wife to do anything she does not want to do.

Sex Myth #7 Good Christian women aren’t suppose to enjoy sex Well if that’s true, that’s a huge blow to all the good Christian men. We believe good Christian women know that sex is a beautiful gift from God. Not enjoying it or calling it dirty is an insult to your creator.

Sex Myth #8 Men are always in the mood for sex. Believe it or not ladies, this is not true. Television and the movies portray men as being hot and ready for sex all the time. But don’t believe it. Sometimes it’s the husband who has the headache! While men usually have higher sex drives then women in general, this is not true of all men.

Tips for wives

All right woman of God, it’s time you turned up the heat. Not in the kitchen, in your bedroom. Yes, I know you work a full-time job, you cook, you clean, and you take care of the children. But the back burner is no place for your love life sweetie. You see, romance is an essential part of your relationship. In fact, where your husband is concerned, it makes him feel loved.

But if you’ve been a little lax in this area, no worries. Make a decision today to “turn up the heat”.

Here are ten simple Christian romance tips you can implement right away:

• Join Him in the shower when he least expects it.
• Give him a full body massage.
• Be the aggressor in the bedroom for a full week.
• Never come to bed looking like his grandmother.
• Before he goes to work, hide love notes in his pockets.
• While he’s at work send him passionate text messages through out the day.
• Leave a steamy voice message for him on the answering machine.
• Make love to him in a room other than the bedroom.
• Turn your bathroom into a homemade spa for two.
• Leave a trail of rose petals from the front door to the bedroom where he finds you at the end.

If you don’t typically initiate romance in your marriage, this may feel a little strange initially. But I promise you’ll notice immediate changes in your relationship once you get started. It just takes a little effort.

That’s it, ladies and gentlemen! I’m sure you didn’t want it to end! I hope you enjoyed reading that and it will bless your marriage! Remember, these are great tips and principles to practise with your spouse not your finance or friend! Don’t stop loving or appreciating your spouse! God bless you all.

Celebration of marriage week

Good Morning everyone,

How are you today? Praying you had an enjoyable and fun filled weekend? Over the weekend and in fact, the whole week, there was a huge influx of stories about bad marriages and tragic stories of serial spousal infidelity and spousal abuse. These stories really hurt me because they weren’t fiction but were very real and it is painful to know that people are going through “hell” in their marriages; what was even more worrying were the several hundreds of comments accepting that sort of behaviour and saying it was normal but “you just have to endure”.

Well, as God would have it, everything He does is perfect and His timing is always perfect because this week at my Church (RCCG Jesus House London) we will be we having our “Celebration of Marriage Week” it actually started yesterday Sunday 12th and will end this Saturday 18th August 2012. I thought it would be lovely to join them in celebrating the gift of the institution of marriage, particularly at a time when marriage as we know it is under attack in today’s society.

I know we have spoken about the dangers of getting married to the wrong person, we’ve spoken about infidelity amongst other things but this week, I am here to reassure you that the One who created marriage; created it to be beautiful, honourable and the marriage bed undefiled. This week, we will look at the beauty of marriage, how to enjoy your marriage and not endure, I will also try to get some successful Christian marriage stories for us to read, enjoy and be inspired by. These days all we read are the failure stories, the stories about cheating, abuse, HIV and so on; even though these are really true, I want you to know that is NOT God’s plan for marriage and those things should not be accepted as the norm! Everyday I see and talk to happy Christian couples; you too can have the marriage of your dreams.

The point of this week is not to dispel those tragic stories, I indeed admit that they are very true, real and happen everyday but I want to ensure and promise you that NOT all marriages function that way. There are happy, healthy marriages in which both parties are faithful and loving to each other. So, I just want to tell you not to be scared off by such stories but be very careful, prayerful and discerning about who you choose to marry; make sure you pick wisely, prepare yourself and only seek God’s direction.

Married Couples

Please join us to celebrate marriage this week and surprise your spouse; specifically pray for your marriage this week, ask God for a revival, surprise your spouse with a date night this week, a gift and do something romantic for them. That thing your spouse has always wanted to do, please do it for them this week; life is too short, let them know you love them.

I’m setting a challenge for all the married people in the house, tell your spouse you love him/her at least TEN times each day of the week. In the morning when you wake up, at night, when you go to work, send them a text to say you love and miss them. Call them just to say it. I honestly believe that it will bring back the spice and romance in your marriage.

When last did you kiss your spouse in front of your children? Don’t be shy; let them know you are indeed husband and wife: do that everyday this week. Men, when last did you open the car door for your wife? Please do that every day of this week and beyond. Men, if you never cook for your wife, why not do that this week? I urge you to plan a different surprise for your spouse each day of this week and top it up with the hugest surprise on Saturday! Ladies, if you’ve been too busy to cook for your husband, cook his favourite meal for him this week.

It is the celebration of marriage week; appreciate your spouse this week. Why not leave them a love note on the fridge or on the bathroom mirror? Stop taking your spouse for granted please, you are lucky, highly blessed and favoured to be married, honour your spouse this week and you’ll see how much they appreciate your gesture and watch how it will usher you into a new dimension of love, unity, greatness and romance! In the words of Pastor Bayo Adewole, why not “minister” to your spouse in bed every night of this week. Some of you have been married for only ten years, yet you haven’t slept with your spouse in a whole month, this week is celebration of marriage week, do it every day this week, I don’t care where, when or how but reverence them, reverence their body. As Pastor K will say, married couples should have sex anytime and anywhere; don’t limit yourself to the bed or bedroom. It’s just one week and who knows, that baby you’ve been praying for might be gifted to you this week, sex is meant to be enjoyed in marriage and not endured or used as a weapon, do this challenge this week and just see the difference it will make to your marriage and the heightened level of intimacy and love that will arise as a result.

Some of you don’t even pray together anymore; you stopped that after one year of marriage; remember that every home will face storms but we stand strong in prayers. 1 Thessalonians 5:17- Pray without ceasing. This week, grab your spouse and pray together, pray for each other and read the Bible everyday together this week. Some of you even go out together and people can’t tell that you’re married, hold your spouse’s hand in public, don’t be ashamed or shy; that is your wife; your husband! Hold their hand, smile, and look into each other’s eyes.

Courting couples

I ask you to seek God’s face this week and pray with your partner everyday; in person or over the phone, just ensure that you pray together every single day this week and let them know you appreciate them. Reaffirm your decision to marry them and begin preparations for your marriage this week by praying together and looking forward to marriage. For some of you, God led you to your partner, you liked them and prayed about it and God has given you the go-ahead to marry them, I challenge the men who are sure this is who you want to marry and God has told you that she is indeed your wife, I challenge you to pop the question this week. This is for those who are 100% sure that this is the woman you want to marry and God has indeed given you the go-ahead, if you are emotionally, spiritually and financially ready, why not do some romantic things for her this week and top it up with a surprise romantic proposal on Saturday. Pray together this week, pray for your partner this week and continue to ask God to lead and direct you and to help you to keep the relationship honourable and clean. Ask God to help the two of you to make it to the alter, to be submitted to God, faithful to Him and one another.

Singles

I challenge you to read about marriage this week, check the Bible and see what the Lord says about marriage, pray this week, pray every day this week that the Lord will reveal His ultimate plan and purpose for marriage. Pray that He will show you His vision for marriage and you won’t be indoctrinated by the world’s idea of marriage but led by the Kingdom’s principles for marriage. Pray that the Lord will prepare you for marriage this week, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, domestically, financially and in every single way. Ask the Lord to prepare you for your marriage, pray for your future spouse this week. Yes, you don’t know him/her but by God’s Grace, they will show up soon. Pray that the Lord will guide and protect them, cover them with His precious blood and prepare them wherever they are for you. Pray that the Lord will favour, bless and prosper their life, career, business, home and beyond. Ask that the Lord will put a yearning within them to find you, ask that the Lord will direct them to your path with God’s speed. Ask that the Lord will cause them to show up this season and when they see you, they will see your glory. Ask that the Lord bless and guide you and ask Him that this time next year, you too will be celebrating the marriage week with your own spouse. AMEN!

God bless marriage, God bless all the married couples in the house; may your joy never end. May the grace and favour of the Lord be upon your homes now and forever more. To all the courting couples, I pray that the Lord will grant you God’s speed, direction and favour and before the next “Celebration of marriage week”, we will be congratulating you on your marriage. Amen. To all the singles in the house, may the Lord smile upon you this season and change your status in Jesus’ Name. Amen! Remember, marriage is beautiful and honourable! God bless marriage! God bless you all. I pray that the challenges I have set for you this week will really bring about a revival and uplifting in your lives, relationships and marriages and you will make them a habit; I pray this week will cause us to truly appreciate the institution of marriage and to it God’s way. Amen.

Feel free to email me your success stories, testimonies of how these little gestures have awakened your marriage or if you have been married for any length of time and have had an inspiring and positive experience of marriage and would like to share and inspire others, please send me an email- princessofzion@rocketmail.com

God bless you all

Jesus House Celebration of Marriage Week

During the course of the week, we will have various activities and lots of surprises for couples, so we would love you to keep these dates free in your dairy. Our Couples’ Ball on Saturday 18th August will mark the finale of the week’s celebration, we would love for you to come along with your spouse to what promises to be an evening of great entertainment with lots of fun, laughter and dancing.

Tickets: £30 per couple. For more information email: tightknots@jesushouse.org.uk or call the church office on 0208 438 8285

Celebration of Marriage Week at Jesus House London

It’s “Celebration of Marriage week” at Jesus House, married couples please take part from wherever you are and if you are in London, endeavour to attend the midweek service on Wednesday and the Couples Ball on Saturday. Courting couples are also invited to the ball. If you are single, you can also attend the midweek service or volunteer for the ball; remember when you sow towards a cause, you partake in the same grace. By God’s Grace, next year you too will be attending the ball with your fiancé or spouse. AMEN!

 

We need to hear from the married couples

Note

There has been a recent influx of news and tragic stories of traumatic marriages to men of abuse and serial infidelity. These stories have spread very wide and fast and though they are a true and current picture of the state of many marriages, I ask you all to please be aware that; those are not examples of what a good marriage should be and that was Never God’s vision or idea of marriage. Be aware that these things do happen but also be sure and believe that happy, healthy and lasting marriages do exist and not all mean are the same; they don’t all cheat or beat their wives.

This is a call for every happily married couple in the house to send us your story; we would love you to tell us how you have made it this far. We would especially love to hear from the men who have been married for years and never cheated or beaten their wives. We would love to hear from you and share your story with the readers, so they can be encouraged and aware that not all men are the same and they can indeed marry a great and Godly man. Please be very honest and sincere about everything: we understand that life and of course marriage has its challenges and temptations but tell us how you have lived through the challenges and stayed faithful! We would love to hear your testimony. You don’t need to send in your name or anything about your identity. Please just post a comment or send me an email on princessofzion@rocketmail.com

 

Men and Infidelity..Finale

Good Afternoon,

How are you enjoying your Saturday? I am sure most of you are out having fun, spending time with your spouses, children and friends! Enjoy, my friends; life is short! Today is the concluding episode of the series;  “Men and Infidelity” and I must admit I decided to leave this to very last because it certainly is the hardest, most difficult, heart wrenching one to write because this if addressing the victims- married women.

If you are in a marriage and your husband has been unfaithful to you, I sincerely sympathise with you. I could give you a whole list of “should-haves and could-haves” but I will save you the agony. If your husband was unfaithful, remorseful and is now repentant: I would say you should ask God for the grace to forgive him. Ask God to heal you of such hurt and to restore your marriage. The two of you should undertake STD/HIV tests: just to ensure that everything is okay. Your husband has to give his life to Christ and genuinely form a relationship with God. The two of you should pray together daily, serve in Church, attend Sunday and Wednesday service and join the marriage ministry for married couples. Make sure that God is the centre of your relationship. I understand that it may take time to rebuild trust but remember that God asks us to forgive and even when we sin against Him and repent, He forgives us and gives us a clean slate. Do the same with him but explain that it will take time to rebuild your intimacy; he should be understanding and compliant. The two of you should agree that he make a concerted effort to rebuild trust by being very open about his feelings, emotions, work and friends.

It is important that you discuss his reason for cheating; was he bored? Did he get too close to the woman and then fell into temptation? Or is it because you have been spending too much time with the children? Is it the late nights with the secretary or the constant nightclub crawling? Whatever it is needs to be addressed and cut off! If the problem was unholy outings or affiliations, he must cut off all contact with those parties! Amen. While you rebuild trust, you may not be open to the usual sex until you can trust him; explain this to him. You may have to refrain from sex altogether or limit it to protected sex until the trust is rebuilt, discuss this and pray about it. The most important thing is to pray and use wisdom. Don’t subject yourself to any harm: so you must be wise

As a married woman, take care of your physical appearance! I will never say it was your fault he cheated; of course not but ensure your countenance is as good as it can be, get your hair and nails done, don’t dress like a grandmother neither should you look like one! Go to the gym, run, exercise and eat healthy! Once the trust is rebuilt, the two of you should spend time together, romantic weekends and getaways, cook special meals for him, wear sexy lingerie and in accordance with the word in Proverbs 5:19; satisfy your husband at all times! Keep things in the bedroom spicy and interesting! Like my Pastor said, if a man is fed till capacity at home, he won’t eat outside of the home; especially knowing that there’ll be more waiting for him at home. Simple! Keep praying together and even when you are alone pray for him, anoint him with oil, walk around your home praying over your matrimonial home, anoint your house and decree that there shall be no more unfaithfulness; AMEN! Keep praying to God, keep praying together.

On the unfortunate incident that you married a serial cheat who seems not to be remorseful or willing to stop. You may have to cease all sexual activity with him to protect yourself from STDs. Report the infidelity to someone he respects and to a trusted Pastor, keep praying and try to seek counsel together! If he is willing to change, then work together with the Pastors and with the points above, if however he is totally adamant on cheating, you will have to decide whether you will stay married to him, separate or divorce. What I would advise is a total stop to sexual activity and resume fervent prayers; spend your time asking God to change his heart, just keep having faith in God and praying for your husband. Focus your energy on serving God, raising your children and developing your career/business. You need to make sure you are busy and spending your time doing something worthwhile but just keep praising God and praying. You will be surprised what prayer can do, one day the Holy Spirit will surely change his heart and he will give his life to Christ and come back to his home. Amen.

The Bible however permits divorce on the grounds of adultery so if you find that you can’t forgive him and can’t continue or if your husband seems to have become a total monstrosity and you sincerely feel that is the best option, the Bible says you are free to do so.

I just pray today for every marriage that is being clouded by this spirit of infidelity, may the Lord destroy and rebuke every such spirit and restore peace, commitment and faithfulness to your marriage. May the Lord give every person who has fallen into infidelity, a new and repentant spirit and help them to see their spouses as their one and only! I pray that no matter what happened in the past, in this month of August, the Lord will usher all such marriages into a new beginning of true love, greatness, joy, mercy, unity and faithfulness! May the Lord smile upon you this month and give you a new song, may the Lord turn your mourning into dancing again. May your marriage have a complete divine transformation and now become a testimony of God’s divine greatness and favour.

To all the singles, may the Lord lead and direct you to the right and Godly spouses; may you never have cause to regret or weep in your matrimonial home! May you never experience sorrow, abuse or infidelity in your homes. May your marriages be filled with love, joy, commitment, God’s goodness and mercy. AMEN!

You can have the marriage of your dreams; just ask Him; the author and creator of marriage! God bless you all

Note

There has been a recent influx of news and tragic stories of traumatic marriages to men of abuse and serial infidelity. These stories have spread very wide and fast and though they are a true and current picture of the state of many marriages, I ask you all to please be aware that; those are not examples of what a good marriage should be and that was Never God’s vision or idea of marriage. Be aware that these things do happen but also be sure and believe that happy, healthy and lasting marriages do exist and not all mean are the same; they don’t all cheat or beat their wives.

This is a call for every happily married couple in the house to send us your story; we would love you to tell us how you have made it this far. We would especially love to hear from the men who have been married for years and never cheated or beaten their wives. We would love to hear from you and share your story with the readers, so they can be encouraged and aware that not all men are the same and they can indeed marry a great and Godly man. Please be very honest and sincere about everything: we understand that life and of course marriage has its challenges and temptations but tell us how you have lived through the challenges and stayed faithful! We would love to hear your testimony. You don’t need to send in your name or anything about your identity. Please just post a comment or send me an email on princessofzion@rocketmail.com

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Hi people I got this really interesting broadcast message on my BBM today. Not interesting like it was a story but interesting as in catchy and it actually made me smile. It said: 

“Who will tell MEN that the strength they have is not for beating women but for building them, this Sun 12TH OF AUGUST . Pst. Kingsley will Tell them…”

So what’s happening this Sunday? Because I’m very nice… *batting my lashes* I will tell you. If you can remember some weeks ago, I made a whole lot of noise about a programme just for women with a man where he’d be revealing all their secrets 😉 . Remember? It was called MANners. Well, if you can’t its just a few blogposts away. So, after that event, the men got a little jealous (as always :D) and insisted on having theirs. Unfortunately for them and very fortunate…

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