Planning for the wedding

Dear everyone,

Good afternoon! I hope you are well and enjoying your Sunday! I hope you made it to Church and had a glorious sermon which touched you. This message I want to share with you today has been on my mind for so long but this week, I knew I had to put “pen to paper” or should I say finger to keyboard? You may remember I gave the testimony of my sister sometime ago. This time last year, she was single; in fact at the very beginning of the year she was single but I kept prophesying into her life and telling her this was her year. Thank God for His goodness and mercies, she’s currently engaged to a great Godly amazing man (permit me to say they are a match made in Heaven). To God be the Glory, they will getting married in January! Thank You Father; please keep them in your prayers.

Initially, the parents wanted the wedding to take place in November but there just wasn’t enough time! So, they thought six months should be sufficient to plan the wedding. I mean, it’s such hard work, the wedding dress, the venue, the flowers, the cake, bridesmaid dresses, everything! I mean if you are married, I’m sure you can testify that it took so much time and effort to plan your perfect day. According to surveys, it takes between 3 and 18 months on average to plan the “big day”.

My question today is- If it takes so much time to plan for the wedding which is only one day, how much more the marriage? Please, am I speaking to somebody? You spend so much time planning for one day, what about the marriage that is going to last 70 years? Or however how long? If you are about to get married and you’re planning for your wedding, answer this honestly- Have you and your partner spent anytime planning for the marriage? Let’s even use human understanding! When you get engaged, the aim is to get married; the aim is not a wedding. The wedding is just a means! So, if you spend 6 months planning for a one day event and your marriage will last 50 years and beyond, I mean you should multiply 6months by 365 and by 50. That is 9125 years, of course we’re not going to live for that many years before the marriage but it means that you need to spend much more time on the marriage; before the wedding and even after. I mean, after spending 6 months planning for your wedding day, on the day, you don’t just leave it to occur, you have coordinators who still look after the event. The same with the marriage; even after the wedding, even while you are married, you still spend time and effort making it work but you must also prepare prior to.

The wedding is a beautiful thing by all means; I pray you all have beautiful weddings. But the most important aspect is the marriage. For every hour you spend planning your wedding, you really should be spending at least an equal if not more time planning the marriage! Have you decided what your family vision is? Have you prayed about it? Have you decided how many children you want and when you will start chid bearing? Have you decided what the next five-ten years will be like? Have you thought of your goals- short term, medium and long term? What about your finances? Have you decided who is going to pay the bills? How is money going to be distributed in the home? What about your in-laws? Are you going to house them? How often will you visit them? What about your service in Church? Have you decided on what you’re both going to do in Church? What Church to attend? What about your genotype, blood group and medical history? Have you even enrolled on a marriage counselling course at a good Bible Believing Church? There are so many things to discuss- How often will you go out independently and have a girls night out? How often will you take vacations together? What languages do you want to teach your children? Are you going to hire domestic staff or will the wife do all the domestic chores? Or will the two of you split the chores? Will you have a rota? What is the work routine going to be like? Are you getting a joint account? Have you decided how much you want to save each month? There are so many things you need to discuss and plan apart from the wedding.

Please don’t be lost in all the wedding planning but focus on the most important thing which is the marriage! I pray that the Lord will empower all the engaged couples in the house to focus on what is important and to all the singles to see the bigger picture. The wedding is just for a day, the marriage is for a lifetime; put your priorities straight. God bless you all.

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