I am sorry I can’t marry you!

Good evening all,

Hoping you had a great Sunday; I certainly did! Wishing you a great and prosperous week ahead! Don’t forget God as you go about your week. God bless!

As you all know, one of my favourite Pastors is Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo; senior Pastor of David’s Christian Centre and Love, dating & Marriage! He has been an absolute inspiration and blessing to me and thousands of others! Whenever, I have the opportunity, I share his message with others!

I was listening to a sermon he preached, titled “I am sorry I cannot marry you”. I would like to share that with you today. It may not be what you think but is based on some of the discriminatory criteria people use to end relationships; I pray it will bless you. Amen. Don’t end a relationship based on any of these.

1- My partner has a child

There is nothing wrong with marrying someone who has a child from a previous relationship. A lot of women even hide their children from their partners as a result. We are of the Kingdom and shouldn’t be influenced by such things. Okay? Many people believe that a girl who has a child is loose, that is not true! These people will gladly marry someone who’s done three abortions than someone who has one child! Don’t use her past against her; just because she has physical evidence of intercourse! Don’t judge someone based on their past, take a spiritual perspective. Judge them by what they are doing today. Have they changed their attitude? Also ensure that they are no longer intimately involved with the parent of the child.

2- Virginity

This works both ways! Some Christians say they cannot marry a virgin because they wont be good in bed. God expects you to learn! They didn’t give birth to you knowing how to type or drive, you learned! You can learn to have sex!

Others also say they cant marry someone who isn’t a virgin! Why? That is a narrow mindset! Virginity does not guarantee virtue! Look out for the person’s character not their virginity! That is a canal mind; it doesn’t guarantee anything.

3 My partner has badly behaved parents

Some people refuse to marry someone because of what their parents did! This is terrible! You can’t let someone suffer for another man’s sin; it is not scriptural! If the person isn’t living the kind of life their parent is living don’t judge them based on this! Some people say, “her mother is so desperate and flamboyant”. That is a great discovery; don’t marry the girl’s mother! Marry the girl! Don’t punish someone because of their parent’s sin. What you need to do is check if they are carrying on the behaviour! For example, people say don’t marry someone from a broken home! Why not check their mindset, do they believe in divorce? I’m not saying you should ignore such a fact! If the person has a lineage of broken marriages, watch out to see if she has adopted the mindset, if not, then go ahead! But if she breaks up with you at every given opportunity, there may be a problem indeed.

Jeremiah 31:29-30

Ezekiel 18:1-4

If God does not accredit sins to the sinner’s child, who are you to do that?

4 My partner is an “outcast” or from a different country/tribe.

This is mainly within African families. For example, within the Igbo tribe of Nigeria, in those days people were out casted for something they did; they were tagged as “Osu”.  It’s been going on for generations. If you call someone an “osu”, may the Lord not judge you unfairly! The spirit of discrimination is a tactic of the devil. Never call someone an outcast; because you will be partaking in his work.  We are all of Adam, as such we are outcasts, but we are redeemed by the blood of Jesus. When we give our lives to Christ, we are now of the Kindred of Israel, no human being is better than another! Marrying someone from the same country, tribe or even village is no determinant of the success of marriage! There are good and bad people from every tribe!

Galatians 3:28- There is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

5 My partner is from a less privileged background

A lot of intending couples are asked to break up relationships because their partner’s family may not be so well to do! That is absolute pride! We hear people say “You want to marry this man, what lineage is he from? What dynasty” That is utter pride!

James 2:1-9

Don’t let that be a basis for your decision! Be not a respecter of persons! Love people for who they are not what they have.

6 My partner is a widow

If someone was married before and their spouse died, it is okay to marry the person! If the person is a good Christian or good believer, you can marry them.

7 My partner is divorced

Yes, God hates divorce but in 1 Corinthians 7, He explains that if you got married as an unbeliever and then find God and your spouse wants to leave you as a result, they are free to go and you are free to remarry. If your spouse committs adultery and leaves, you are no longer bound. In these two cases, you are free to marry the divorced person. Amen.

8 My Pastor said I can’t marry someone called “John” or “Rose”

Some people think Pastors are just well dressed native doctors!

The Bible says as many are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God- Romans 8:14

In the Old Testament, people needed prophets because they weren’t gifted with the Spirit of God then. It was only the Prophets or the Kings that had the spirit of God but now, we all have the spirit of God! We are meant to be led by Him. Stop taking names to Prophets to ask if you should marry them. Don’t do that! You don’t know what the Prophet does in his spare time. Don’t be led by men. Your life is too precious to be led by a man! Stop using prophecies to discriminate against people; you talk to God yourself.

9 Parental disapproval

Many people use this as grounds for discrimination. Don’t get me wrong; honour your parents! On what grounds is your parent telling you not to marry. It is good to do what your parents are saying but if it is not in line with the Word of God, please don’t do it!

Genesis 2:24- Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

10 Educational qualifications

I can’t marry him because he is not a graduate! Please look at Forbes list and count how many billionaires are not graduates; so many! Don’t put unnecessary priority where it isn’t shouldn’t be. Will you say, “I wont marry Bill Gates because he’s not a graduate” What about Michael Dell or Mark Zuckerberg! They are all happily married billionaires! You have no case! What about Jesus Christ, he was a carpenter! Don’t get me wrong, education is great but wisdom is even greater!

11 Physical disabilities

“He limps, he has a withered arm”. This is very unfair! If you like someone, irrespective of their disability, go ahead and marry them and don’t let anyone discourage you! Some parents stop their children from marrying albinos! This is wrong!

I hope this has blessed someone! I pray none of us will discriminate based on these criteria; neither shall we be discriminated against. Amen. God bless you all!



Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Marriage/Courtship, Waiting on my future spouse

15 responses to “I am sorry I can’t marry you!

  1. mummy stella

    Ask your pastor why abraham ask is head servant to swore by is manhood to take isaac down to his kindred n get him a wife, listen i dnt know who your pastor is marriage do not have principles dt theory a worked for johnson do not mean dt theory a would worked for jackson sorry my dear what U̶̲̥̅̊ see in churches today are just church goers not christians all ds things U̶̲̥̅̊ tink do not matter really really matter for me marriages are on based on what this pastor says or do not say it easier to say something than to do something people history matters alot in marriage. So my brother before marriage just like people in d world seek traditional divinity seek God intervention cuz dt kind of woman U̶̲̥̅̊ dream of marrying might b d opposite God wants for you. God bless you

    • Dear Mummy Stella,

      You are welcome in Jesus’ Name! Abraham sent his servant to look for a wife for Isaac from his Kindred because in those days, those were the only Christians! His basis for a decision was the faith of the woman which is something I emphasise on this blog! The person you marry must be a genuinely born again, spirit filled, God led Christian, you must be equally yoked, and then there are several other factors- compatibility, being led by God and so on.

      If we are genuine Christians, we believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He however rose up again and then ascended into the Heavens. His blood was shed for our sins, that same blood redeems us! That is why, since I gave my life to Christ, old things are passed away. (2 Corinthians 5:17- This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!)

      That means, everything I did before I became a Christian, God has forgiven me and wiped my slate clean. If the I am that I am says that someone is a new creature, who am I to say otherwise? Who am I? As long as today, they are living for Christ, I should not discriminate against them based on any of these criteria! Neither should they suffer for the sins of their parents or former partners!

      By the way, in Christianity, we do NOT work on theories but on the Word on God! What the Word says is what I will do and what I will preach! There is no theory; follow the word and you can’t go wrong! Jesus has no exceptions to His word. He didn’t say only certain people should follow this Word, while others shouldn’t!

      May God give us divine wisdom from above to discern and make informed decisions that will please Him and make Him proud. Amen. God bless you.

  2. W1ND0WZ

    Isn’t #8 a contradiction to the whole story itself? My advice to everyone (culled from your blog) is as follows:

    DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!! “You don’t know what the Prophet does in his spare time. Don’t be led by men. Your life is too precious to be led by a man! Stop using prophecies to discriminate against people; you talk to God yourself.”

    • Hi there,

      You’re welcome in Jesus Name! Number 8 centres on the fact that some people take names or pictures to prophets and other people. Without knowing the person or their character, they hand over names and the prophet says yes or no.

      In any case, be led by God at all times. If there’s something you read or hear that doesn’t sit well with you, check the Bible, consult God!

      God bless

  3. Lady

    Thank you princess of zion. I have been richly blessed by this piece. Keep up the good work. The Lord is your strength. God bless

    • Amen, Amen and another Amen! The Lord is indeed our strength! Thank you so much dear, God bless, strengthen, favour and prosper you too! I am overjoyed that you were blessed. God is Mighty! Let His Name be glorified forever! Amen! By the Grace of God, I will never stop this work! Amen!

  4. Noni

    Love your articles i need to subscribe ..the word of God is truly important in our lives daily..

    • Dear Noni,

      You are welcome in Jesus’ Name! Thank you for those words of encouragement, I really do appreciate it! Please feel free to subscribe and share! May the Word bless you richly! Indeed the Word of God is very important for us daily! As babies, we grow by eating daily, several meals a day! Not by eating once a week; the true is same for the Word of God! It is food, it is life! God bless, favour and prosper you my dear! I pray His plans and purposes for you will be fulfilled. Amen.

  5. jebutu esther olamide


  6. Chika hill Egwumba

    true , but not all through , for me , make sure u have a leading of God b4 any action u take .

    • Dear Chika,

      You are welcome in Jesus’ Name. This is not a post on finding the right spouse, for that, we have covered that in many different posts. Firstly, getting ready, the qualities to look out for, maintaining a good courtship and so on. This however is a sermon that was posted which just focuses on unfair discrimination. Many of which can be justified but if the person is a new creature today, we are advised to acknowledge the past but not to judge them as a result. Many genuinely born again Christians are being “crucified” for their pasts which they have turned away from. That should not be the case.

      In any case, praying for wisdom from a move to guide and cover us all. Amen. Stay blessed.

  7. Dudu

    I agree 2 all above dnt discriminate a persn bt listen2 wat God says…bt wat bout nt disriminate with age difference?

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