Trick 3….Head over heels in love

Good day all,

This is the third and final post in our series of “Tricks”. I hope you haven’t lost momentum. If you missed out, you can read the first and second episode here:

http://www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/04/trick-1my-soul-mate/

http://www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/09/trick-2-you-have-a-spirit-spouse-26/

I’ve been putting off this post for so long but I’m so happy I can now conclude the series! It really has been on my mind for so long, I tried composing it but the words didn’t come out right. I just pray that the message God wants to convey to you today, will come out just as He wants it. AMEN.

The third trick the devil uses to cause delayed marriages and separation is- The trick of love!

Sometimes even Christians get absorbed with emotional kind of love; this isn’t God’s type of love. This is when people are led to believe that they must fall in love with someone before they marry them; they believe that if they are not “head over heels in love”, they shouldn’t marry the person.

I just want to address certain groups, for example married couples who feel they have “fallen out of love” or the person who thinks they have to be “in love” before they propose to a woman or they lady who has been turning down proposals because she wasn’t “in love”. These are all tricks!

What I mean is, you don’t have to “fall in love” before you decide to marry someone. Most times, that “love” will distort your judgement! When you read about successful marriages in the Bible, you will see that most of them loved after they married. My point is, don’t get too emotionally involved until you are sure that is the person you will marry. If you meet someone and

1-You’re both genuine Christians,

2- Equally yoked,

3- You like each other and can see yourself spending your lives together and you know each other well

But the only thing holding you back from marrying them is that you are not head over heels in love, the devil may be trying to delay your marriage. Think again!

There is no benefit of “being head over heels in love” with someone you are not married or engaged to. Reasons why it is not beneficial

1- Whenever you love someone, you give them a license to destroy you. Love creates vulnerability. Why do that when there is no marriage covenant protecting a relationship?

The love we speak about should be practised in marriage, or at least between an engaged coupled. When you love, you are handing over your emotions to that person. How can you do that with no protection?

2- Emotional love does not guarantee happiness in marriage. Emotional love is good in marriage, it cements a married couple together. However, it does not guarantee happiness. No state of emotions and no mood is permanent. Some married couples find that they are not “in love” anymore, sometimes this does happen but the love will come again. Some couples don’t have the patience and get divorced as a result! This is why you shouldn’t get married just because you’re “head over heels in love”, if that’s the only reason for it, you may find yourself separating soon because that feeling may not last forever.

Just read 2 Samuel 13:1-15, how in love Amnon was but after he slept with Tamar, he hated her.

3- When you love somebody, you no longer reason well. Just like, when you hate someone, you no longer see any good in that person. Likewise, when you love someone, you no longer see anything wrong in that person. This is why love is perfect for families and in marriage, but before you make the decision of marriage, you shouldn’t be blinded by love.

This trick of “love” not only causes separation and divorce but it can cause delayed marriages. A likes B, but B doesn’t love A. Most times, what B perceives to be love is just sexual feelings.

The difference between our forefather’s marriages and our day is that in those days, they didn’t marry who they loved, but loved who they married. Before 1970, the divorce rate in Africa was less than 1% and there was no delayed marriage.

But when two genuinely born again Christians meet and form a friendship and discover they are equally yoked, compatible, ready for marriage and they like each other and prayerfully decide to marry, love can brew between them.

If you are married and find yourself “falling out of love”

Love takes place in the mind. When your perception of someone is positive, you will learn to love the person but if it’s negative, you won’t love the person. Your perception is what determines whether you love that person.

Because it is your perception that determines your emotion and love for someone, focus on your spouse’s good attributes, medicate on those and your perception would be positive.

See your spouse as the ultimate spouse. Once you are married, believe and reinforce the fact that he/she is the best spouse you could have married, the only person you could marry. See your spouse as the only one for you, tell yourself you have no alternative. Pray together with your spouse and tell God to teach you how to love genuinely. The same love that led Him to send Jesus to die for us (John 3:16). We are made in the image and glory of God, we too can love! Keep praying and keep focusing on your spouse’s good attributes, and spend time together.

Read this article about keeping your marriage alive: http://www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/keeping-my-marriage-alive/

Lastly, to conclude the series of tricks, I will say that you don’t need to beg God to marry. He wants you to get married. It is YOUR responsibility to pick a spouse, not God’s! God will favour you, direct you, direct people to you and place you at the right place at the right time. But you will do the picking!

I pray this has blessed you! Please share it with someone, it could save someone’s marriage and quicken someone’s marital breakthrough. AMEN. God bless you all.

Advertisements

12 Comments

Filed under Finding "Mr. Right", Finding "Mrs. Right", Keeping my marriage alive, Marriage/Courtship, Singles, Waiting on my future spouse

12 responses to “Trick 3….Head over heels in love

  1. Miss Pepeye

    Princess, this is a bit difficult for me to grasp as i think it would be difficult to marry someone i dont love, even if not right from the start, but at least somewhere along the line before marriage takes place. Maybe i need to try and re-assess what you’re trying to put accross to us, your readers. God bless you too.

    • Hi dear,
      I’m sorry this was difficult to grasp, I also found it slightly hard to write, hence the delay! What I mean to say is- Don’t be in a hurry to “fall in love”, get to know that person FIRST and decide if you will like to marry him before you fall in love. Many a time, we just rush into things, “fall in love” before truly examining the situation and after this, it becomes so difficult to truly evaluate the situation. Do you understand what I mean? Get to know the person first, discern if they are truly born again, if you are equally yoked first. After that, when you are sure this is someone you would like to marry, go ahead! It sounds near impossible because you can’t control your feelings right? We are children of the most High! The Holy Spirit is in us to give us control over our flesh and emotions!

      Love is good because when you love someone, no matter how they look, smell, act you will overlook and keep loving. This is good in marriage because it helps them to stay together but when two people have not decided whether they want to marry and they “fall in love”, suddenly discerning whether he is truly born again becomes difficult. To you, he is. Are you equally yoked, yes you are by force!! Can you live with him forever, the answer will be yes! You become oblivious to many things!! Ideal scenario, meet on normal grounds, get to know each other, prayerfully discern, ask the right questions, find out more about them, be friends and pray!! If you feel you would like to marry this person and God indeed led you, go ahead and court with the intention to MARRY!! Now, you can “fall in love”. But not before you make all the right decisions. May still sound foreign to you but don’t get emotional or too involved until you are sure. That is what we are trying to convey. And if you are married, and you feel you have fallen out of love, you really haven’t!! It’s a phase, reinforce your spouse’s positive attributes, pray and tell yourself you are going nowhere. Okay?

      God bless you Miss Pepeye!! I hope this will now mean something to you and bless you. My apologies to anyone else who didn’t get it initially.

  2. Miss Pepeye

    :). Thank for your response. And for bringing light to what i didnt understand previously. I can see that you seem to be so patient to be able to write at length as u tried clarifying things for me. Your future husband is indeed mega-blessed. Not to mention of course, how blessed you are too.

    • Hi dear,

      I feel so relieved that you now understand! Thank You Lord! I used to be very impatient but God really built me up and dealt with it. Thank yo so much!! Your sweet demeanour and thirst for God is also apparent in the very few comments you have made!! God bless you

  3. chioma

    Hello dear
    My name is Chioma, i have a problem which i will like to share with you. can you please give me something i can use to contact you.

  4. mary

    hi princess am really bless by ur inspiring Topic,honestly that has been my basis in making decision.thank you amd God bless.

  5. BN

    Wow! Thanks really, for this post and your subsequent clarification.
    But , let me ask. You do have to be attracted to the person,right? I mean, you have to like the person enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them,right? To wake every morning beside them?

  6. Miss mervis

    Dear,Princess of Zion. Ur blog is so nice! Am 21,certainly not yet ready for marriage but I tend to think about it a lot bcux I dnt want to make a mistake nd I bliv God desires for us to build happy homes. Divorce is never God’s plan nd I guess I sud jus tel u dt u found a faithful follower in me. I may not alwayz comment,but be sure dt am alwayz here. Much love *kisses*

    • Dear Miss Mervis,

      You are welcome in Jesus’ Name!! God bless you and thank you so much for being an avid reader!! Preparation in advance is the best thing to do! At least, when you are ready for marriage, you will be prepared!! That is the key! You are right that divorce is never God’s plan!! Thank you so much; may God bless and prosper all the works of your hands. AMEN.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s