Good day all,
This is the third and final post in our series of “Tricks”. I hope you haven’t lost momentum. If you missed out, you can read the first and second episode here:
I’ve been putting off this post for so long but I’m so happy I can now conclude the series! It really has been on my mind for so long, I tried composing it but the words didn’t come out right. I just pray that the message God wants to convey to you today, will come out just as He wants it. AMEN.
The third trick the devil uses to cause delayed marriages and separation is- The trick of love!
Sometimes even Christians get absorbed with emotional kind of love; this isn’t God’s type of love. This is when people are led to believe that they must fall in love with someone before they marry them; they believe that if they are not “head over heels in love”, they shouldn’t marry the person.
I just want to address certain groups, for example married couples who feel they have “fallen out of love” or the person who thinks they have to be “in love” before they propose to a woman or they lady who has been turning down proposals because she wasn’t “in love”. These are all tricks!
What I mean is, you don’t have to “fall in love” before you decide to marry someone. Most times, that “love” will distort your judgement! When you read about successful marriages in the Bible, you will see that most of them loved after they married. My point is, don’t get too emotionally involved until you are sure that is the person you will marry. If you meet someone and
1-You’re both genuine Christians,
2- Equally yoked,
3- You like each other and can see yourself spending your lives together and you know each other well
But the only thing holding you back from marrying them is that you are not head over heels in love, the devil may be trying to delay your marriage. Think again!
There is no benefit of “being head over heels in love” with someone you are not married or engaged to. Reasons why it is not beneficial
1- Whenever you love someone, you give them a license to destroy you. Love creates vulnerability. Why do that when there is no marriage covenant protecting a relationship?
The love we speak about should be practised in marriage, or at least between an engaged coupled. When you love, you are handing over your emotions to that person. How can you do that with no protection?
2- Emotional love does not guarantee happiness in marriage. Emotional love is good in marriage, it cements a married couple together. However, it does not guarantee happiness. No state of emotions and no mood is permanent. Some married couples find that they are not “in love” anymore, sometimes this does happen but the love will come again. Some couples don’t have the patience and get divorced as a result! This is why you shouldn’t get married just because you’re “head over heels in love”, if that’s the only reason for it, you may find yourself separating soon because that feeling may not last forever.
Just read 2 Samuel 13:1-15, how in love Amnon was but after he slept with Tamar, he hated her.
3- When you love somebody, you no longer reason well. Just like, when you hate someone, you no longer see any good in that person. Likewise, when you love someone, you no longer see anything wrong in that person. This is why love is perfect for families and in marriage, but before you make the decision of marriage, you shouldn’t be blinded by love.
This trick of “love” not only causes separation and divorce but it can cause delayed marriages. A likes B, but B doesn’t love A. Most times, what B perceives to be love is just sexual feelings.
The difference between our forefather’s marriages and our day is that in those days, they didn’t marry who they loved, but loved who they married. Before 1970, the divorce rate in Africa was less than 1% and there was no delayed marriage.
But when two genuinely born again Christians meet and form a friendship and discover they are equally yoked, compatible, ready for marriage and they like each other and prayerfully decide to marry, love can brew between them.
If you are married and find yourself “falling out of love”
Love takes place in the mind. When your perception of someone is positive, you will learn to love the person but if it’s negative, you won’t love the person. Your perception is what determines whether you love that person.
Because it is your perception that determines your emotion and love for someone, focus on your spouse’s good attributes, medicate on those and your perception would be positive.
See your spouse as the ultimate spouse. Once you are married, believe and reinforce the fact that he/she is the best spouse you could have married, the only person you could marry. See your spouse as the only one for you, tell yourself you have no alternative. Pray together with your spouse and tell God to teach you how to love genuinely. The same love that led Him to send Jesus to die for us (John 3:16). We are made in the image and glory of God, we too can love! Keep praying and keep focusing on your spouse’s good attributes, and spend time together.
Read this article about keeping your marriage alive: http://www.princessofzion.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/keeping-my-marriage-alive/
Lastly, to conclude the series of tricks, I will say that you don’t need to beg God to marry. He wants you to get married. It is YOUR responsibility to pick a spouse, not God’s! God will favour you, direct you, direct people to you and place you at the right place at the right time. But you will do the picking!
I pray this has blessed you! Please share it with someone, it could save someone’s marriage and quicken someone’s marital breakthrough. AMEN. God bless you all.